I have seen the face of evil, and its name is FARMVILLE! Virtual farming was established in 1996 on the SNES, but it was not called Farmville, it was called Harvest Moon. This game ran the gamut of home gaming consoles from SNES, N64, PS1,PS2PSP, and Wii. In the world of ever changing technology, "retro" is not a term that is used.
For those of you not familiar with Farmville (or its predecessor Harvest Moon), let me educate you as best I can. Your character is a stumpy little, mildly customizable man or woman. You point and click to plow your plots. Then you point and click to plant your crops. Then you wait anywhere between 2 hours and 4 days to point and click to harvest your crops. But wait...there's more! You get animals for your farm! What farm would be complete without a penguin or two. You heard me right...PENGUIN! You also get horses, chickens, cows, geese, ducks, cats, goats...the list goes on and on. Does this make the game more interesting?? NO!
What else can you do on Farmville? Bombard your friend's live feed on facebook with announcements of your point and click accomplishments. Doesn't that sound like fun people??? No. You also have to invite your friends to become "neighbors" in Farmville. If you have no neighbors, you will not expand your farm. If you don't expand your farm, you won't make any more money. And as Puff Daddy told us, it's all about the Benjamins baby. How do your friends feel about Farmville, being harrassed into being your neighbor, or your accomplishments? They hate it..they hate it all. They will join up to be your neighbor because they like you, but they do not want to have anything to do with this "game".
Does your friend and humble narrator have a farm? Yes he does. Does he enjoy pointing and clicking? No, he does not. Is he addicted to this stupid, time wasting wasteland that is called Farmville? He is indeed. As is the case with any addiction, no one WANTS to be addicted, and the substance is usually not healthy. Does that take away from the fact that they are addicted? No. I am considering starting a group on facebook entitled "Farmville Addicts : 12 Steps Away From the Farm". This will give me an idea of how many people are locked in the grips of point, click, wait, repeat. And how many of us are looking for a way out.
If you are a Farmville addict, you probably aren't reading this because you have accomplishments to post or collect. But, if you are an addict, and you are looking for a way out...please sound off. Let us find a cure for this disease, and let's find it soon! For those of you that don't play Farmville..avert your eyes! Don't go into the light! RUN AWAY!! For I have seen the face of evil...and its name is Farmville!
-Salty Dog
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Your too friggin funny! I actually made the accomplishment of walking away and leaving rotted crops for a sum of 2 whole weeks. I was then unfortunately lured back by the cute little baby calf that I just had to have. Now.. hooked again. UGH!
ReplyDeleteMy name is Josh, and I am an addict. I have been farming for less than 2 months. I wake up in the morning and harvest, plow, and plant. I travel from neighbor to neighbor, asking if they need help. 4 hrs later, I repeat. I do this all day. When it's time for bed, i plant something that will be immediately available when I wake up. It's a vicious cycle.....Shit, gotta go, I missed a collectable....
ReplyDeleteMy name is also Josh and I'm a Farmville addict. I tried not to start. But it called to me like a Vegas call girl after 18 hours of free drinks at the blackjack tables. I couldn't resist.
ReplyDeleteAt first is was cute and harmless. Oh! The days of only having 1 neighbor and a small patch of strawberries. Then, oh the pain of remembering...Then it was a couple of plots of daisies...a date tree here...a date tree there. Soon I wanted to get to level 10 so I could plant bell peppers...then level 12 for the tractor. Must add more neighbors....
Do you have foxes? I'll chase them off....I need the xp.
A gift request? Oh, there can't be any harm in just taking one....little...mystery gift...
But wait..I have to send one back...have to get more gifts. How can I get cow's without gifts...Should I buy Farmville dollars. Can I get a larger homestead....no, I need a barn just like everyone else. WHere will I put my horses!?!?!?!?!
Please....HELP ME!!!!!
No