Out of State, Out of Mind

Welcome back everyone. I apologize for my hiatus, but I have been busy with my school work. Today, however, I have reason to write! What is it that could be so important to take me away from my school work? Is it my master plan to Occupy Hip Hop? Is it the overwhelming urge to plug Bob's Boneyard (the greatest podcast in the world today)? Is it that I just found out what actually goes into a Nathan's Hot Dog? Nay nay...

Virginia is very predictable when it comes to government. They want everything to happen on your birthday. That being said, my 40th birthday is next month so I have some things that are due for renewal. One of those things is my driver's license. So yesterday morning at 9:15, I stroll into my local DMV to renew my driver's license. Everyone knows that the DMV is not the happiest place on Earth (that would be Mooby's), but I am prepared for a long wait. I fill out my required paperwork and start the waiting game. My number is B30 and they are on B6. 45 minutes later, they call my number. I felt like screaming Bingo, but I held back. I get to the window,take my eye test, pay my fee, take my picture, and wait for my license. Next thing I know, I am being refunded my fee and told that I am not eligible to renew my license. Based on the results of the National Data Registry, New York AND Connecticut have put a "stop" on my record. I am told that I have to contact the DMV in NY and CT if I want my VA license.

I drive home and get on the phone at 10:30 with the great State of New York's DMV in Albany. The next hour and 20 minutes were spent trying to get a human on the phone to find out what the hell was going on. I finally get an upstate New Yorker on the phone (upstate translates into Southern Canadian). She takes my information and tells me that Connecticut had sent them notice of a DUI conviction in my name in 1994. In order to straighten this mess out and have my name removed from the list, I would have to call Connecticut. So I call Connecticut. 1 hour and 40 minutes before I reach a human this time. CT DMV tells me that there is a Jamie Robinson, same birthday, California license....wait...California? Is this now a fourth state I am going to have to deal with? Nay nay. The kind people of Connecticut removed this mark from my record because I simply told them (in my best Eddie Murphy voice) "Wasn't me." I told them I had never had a CA license, only a NY and VA and all was well.

I am now cleared by Connecticut for whatever it is I was supposed to have done. So I asked them to contact NY, since the problem NY has with me is that CT said I had a DUI! So they said "nay nay, Mr. Robinson." (no they didn't, but it would have been cool). They said no, I had to contact NY myself and tell them that CT cleared me. So I call NY DMV in Albany once again...I get to talk to a human in a record setting 10 minutes this time! My luck is changing, right? Nay nay. I get to talk to Rosalita in Records (the alliteration just made me laugh), and she tells me that I indeed have a DUI notification on my record from the state of CT. She also sees that on the National Data Registry, CT has removed the stop on my record. Sweet, now will Rosalita take the stop off of my NY record too? Nay nay...Rosalita is just the person that tells me what is on my record. In order to plead my case and make any changes, I have to talk to Driver Improvement. Cool, can you connect me? Sure, but they won't be there...they are only open from 8am until noon. So I have to call back again this morning.

I have no moral to this story, no happy ending, just the disgruntled rantings of an old man. I know the DMV has always been a fun place for everyone, so I figured I would share an experience that you all could relate to. Hopefully you never have to deal with Rosalita or her counterparts to get you license renewed....4 states away! Until next time....Stay Salty.

Salty Dog