So, the title....English. Is this going to be a blog complaining about outsourced tech support by guys named "Chad" that are in Pakistan? No. Is this going to be about illegal aliens running around WalMart on Sundays? No. This is going to be about your average, everyday American citizen who feels the need to butcher the English language (not the Queen's English, for we have all butchered that one).
Let me begin with the ever popular AKS. This is the most common incorrectly used "word" today. As in..Let me AKS you something. This used to drive me insane. I have become accustomed to it and it only bothers me as much as a mosquito trapped in your car with you.
Since the use of the word AKS has become less irritating, there have been many other spring from the maws of the degenerates in my life. Let me share with you a few of these nuggets. BREFISS. For those of you unfamiliar with this one, it is the first meal of the day. "I'm gonna go to McDonald's and get some BREFISS". This word makes me cringe like you cannot imagine. WARSH...this is a regional butchering, so I don't feel the need to explain this one. I will, however, mention the one that makes me want to slap people. There is no need for this "word" to be mistaken as English. SUPPOSEBLY!
There is no B in supposedly! People may be dyslexic and not be able to read the word, but this does not prohibit you from SPEAKING the word correctly. I hear the word supposeBly more than 5 times a day. I become violent every time this word enters my ear canal. These are the things that bring me to the blog on a regular basis.
This is a short blog, but something that needed to be said. If you are one of these people, STOP IT! If you are having a conversation with me and I slap you in the back of the head hard enough to rattle your teeth...you messed up. I do not claim to be an overly educated individual, and my language is colorful at best, but you will never...EVER hear me say any of the "words" mentioned in the previous paragraphs. Until next time true believers..
-Salty Dog
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My Grandmother and Great Grandmother both say/said WARSH and BATCHRY both of which I'm sure you feel are either wrong or WAY to "ethnic". I'm honestly a bit speechless because I never saw you in this light before.
ReplyDeleteYeah, you got me...too ethnic, that is my complaint. My complaint is the lack of...not even proper, but DECENT English. The only way I can explain the word Warsh is that the people of Boston who say Cah, and Yahd have lost their "R"s and they magically floated away and end up in words that don't have them like WASH!!
ReplyDeleteJamie, calling you too "ethnic" is like wiping before you poop - it just doesn't make any sense if you give it even a LITTLE bit of thought....
ReplyDeleteIt's not an ethnic thing - or even a territorial thing. Territorial is more along people in Ohio referring to "soda" (not SODER, as some people say it!!) as "pop". I like your IDEER of smacking people when they talk like that - I think the additional "r" thing is a regional thing - my father did it, and he was born in ther Bronx.
I had a classmate that absolutely burchered the language. She once wanted to "AKS a PACIFIC question about taking PITCHERS". As opposed to an Atlantic question about glasses I guess.
I agree with you on everything - too ethnic. That makes me chuckle.
So now you're slandering the ethnics eh? I know plenty of "non-ethnics" who say WARSH and BATCHRY and FAR (as in "That's a big far just for some burgers."). I think that the slow and methodical butchering of our language is something that transcends race, age and religion. Yes, I said it, RELIGION!! Saying god-dang is no less an affront to your almighty than saying god-damned.
ReplyDeleteAnd furthermore ANYONE who accuses Jamie of racism doesn't know the first fucking thing about him and shouldn't read his blog.
Back to the point - one of my favorites is EXPECIALLY. I too have a habit of adding my own twist on words, BUT I AM AWARE OF IT WHEN I DO IT!! I don't think that the word is actually pronounced that way. Even people who don't know me very well know that I'm kidding around and not to take me seriously.
I'm with Jamie on this 100 percenticles. Joke 'em if the can't take a fuck!
Bill,
ReplyDeleteI would have thought that to be the Atlantic question about Catchers, not glasses...lol