Here I Come To Save The Day!

Welcome back, true believers. For those of you who have been following me for the past year, you heard about the Virginia Beach Ninja. There are strange people out there, and there is nothing we can do about it. But what is this? Up in the sky...it's a bird...it's a plane..it's...some dumbass that thinks he's a superhero! Am I kidding? Nay nay, I wish I were. I am here to tell you that this is real, and it is happening all over our fine country.

 

Who is this fine citizen? This is Cincinnati Police Force's greatest ally...Shadow Hare (the one on the left). The leader of "The Allegiance of Heroes" is a 21 year old from Ohio who is out for truth and justice on the mean Cincinnati streets. They stop crimes in progress (usually escaping with minor injuries) and perform citizen's arrests when warranted. Shadow Hare is a real life superhero.

Cruising out to the left coast brings us to the man with the plan..the leader of the Xtreme Justice League (I am sure there is a copyright infringement case in there somewhere)...the pride of San Diego...Mr. Xtreme. Mr. Xtreme is out for truth, justice, and a mean game of Dungeons and Dragons! He is armed with pepper spray, the "Double Trouble Stun Gun", and multiple cell phones. He sounds like he is ready for anything, this guy! Mr. Xtreme is currently on the hunt of a serial groper in the Chula Vista area. It is about time somebody got out there and brought all of those serial gropers to justice!

I am not knocking these guys for wanting to be a productive member of society...or for wanting to aide the local police force in any way that they can. What I am getting on them for is letting their Live Action Role Playing game to get out of hand. These guys are going to jump out on the wrong guy one night and he is going to test their "super powers". What happens then? Are they faster than a speeding bullet? When one of them ends up on the ground with a sucking chest wound, what do the police do then? What do they tell the "Superhero's" parents? "Yeah, I knew your son was going to get himself shot one day doing that stupid shit, but I figured when that day came that he would learn his lesson." Let's seriously regulate these D&D games, the Magic: The Gathering games, The...whatever the hell else geeks are doing these days to avoid their real lives in their mother's basement. Things have gotten out of hand people. To find the local "Superhero" in your area (oh yes, they are everywhere) check this page Real Life Weirdo Registry.

Okay, maybe I am jealous because I wanted to grow up to be the next Batman. Life didn't throw me a Bruce Wayne fortune, but that is no reason to hate on these guys. Actually, I don't think I am mad at them..this is kind of like the People of Walmart page...it is fun to look at, knowing that you aren't one of them. If any of you HAVE seen yourself on People of Walmart...I apologize. So...until next time Stay Salty...same Salty Time... Same Salty channel!

-Salty Dog