Welcome back faithful few! Sorry to tell you, there is no tirade this time around. There is so much out there that I could go off about (the robot Presidential candidate, the fucktards in Egypt, the lack of BJ and the Bear on Netflix) but I won't. I am here to talk about the greatest concert of the year; Fresh Fest.
If there are any Lil Wayne fans reading (not that I believe that there are) you should turn back now because you will not understand anything I am about to say. As a die hard old school hip hop fan, there aren't a lot of concerts that I want to go to. The local clubs and "arenas" would rather bring in 2 Chainz or some other shit act than go with something proven. NTelos Pavilion in Portsmouth.... that is a different story.
Every year (for the past three) nTelos Pavilion has decided that since old school acts aren't touring together, they will invite them separately to play on the same night. The turnout for this show is amazing. While the majority of the fans that come out for this festival are over age 40, there are some younger audience members in attendance. This year's show saw Chubb Rock, Big Daddy Kane, Slick Rick, MC Lyte, and Salt n Pepa. There is not an artist on this list that I haven't been a fan of since the 1980s, and nTelos brought them all together on one stage.
This concert was like one big block party. Outside of my home, this is the closest I have felt to family. The other fans at this show felt the same as I did; THIS is hip hop. There was no fear of a fight breaking out, no worries of being shot by some dumb ass kid trying to be hard, nothing of the sort. This was a bunch of grown adults reliving their childhood, and the music that shaped their lives. There were no bouncers, no security guards keeping the crowd away from the stage, and no police stationed around the exits. There were shell toes, Kangols, giant hoop earrings, I even saw a guy with overalls on with one strap hanging off.
Not only does the rap music of today pale in comparison to the music of my teenage years (yes Bill, I understand where you are coming from, even if your wife doesn't), but the fans suck too. If Lil Wayne raps in the woods and there is no one there to hear it, does it still suck? I can answer that question with a definitive "Yes!" Hip hop is not just rap; it is a culture...it is a way of life. MCing, graffiti, b-boying, and DJing all make up what it is that we call hip hop. So while Dr Seuss is in essence a rapper, it takes a lot more to be an MC. Everyone on stage at Fresh Fest was a certified MC. So, to Lil Wayne and all his little carbon copies...rap may indeed be what you do, but hip hop..hip hop is what I am.
NTelos Pavilion...keep doing what you do. You keep bringing Fresh Fest, and the true fans will keep coming. Everyone else in the area, take notes. Do the masses want to see 2 Chainz? I say nay nay. Bring us KRS One, Kwame, Dana Dane, Black Sheep...hip hop shows that are safe for us to attend. Let us enjoy QUALITY hip hop, and we will keep coming back. Until next time people...Stay Salty.
-Salty Dog
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
What's My Name?
What? Yes, I am back again. Don't go getting all used to me being here every week..this has just been a busy time in interesting news. This next piece of news may not catch any of your fancies, but as I have told you numerous times..this isn't about you! So what is it that brings me to the keyboard today? Is it to debate which is a more ridiculous Olympic sport; curling or handball? Is it to prepare you for the impending Zombie Apocalypse? (see www.torresvszombies.com) Is it once again to plead with you all to petition Netflix to show BJ and the Bear? Nay nay...what brings me here today is the question of "What's My Name?"
All of you who actually know me, know that I love hip hop. Not this new shit that they try to pass off as hip hop, but REAL old school hip hop. All the big hip hop artists are known by their rap names more than by their real names. Many of you now know the name Joseph Simmons because he had a TV show, but for decades he was known simply as RUN. To this day rapper, movie star, and TV star LL Cool J still goes by LL Cool J, rather than James Todd Smith. Andre Romelle Young has sold millions of albums under the name Dr. Dre, and he is still Dr. Dre. But those aren't the guys that brought me here. The ones that brought me to write are the ones that get so famous that they change their name. Not always their real name, but the one that made them famous; the one by which everyone knows them.
All of you, by now, should know my least favorite one of these people...PDDFL. For those new readers out there, that is Puff Diddy Daddy Farty Licky. I don't even know what name he is going by now, the last I heard it was Swag. Then there was Prince...well, the artist formerly known as Prince... or call me Prince again..whatever that little purple clothes wearing midget is calling himself these days. It isn't limited to the rap industry, either...who remembers the name Chris Jackson? Sorry, Mahmoud Abdul Rauf. I won't go into Cassius Clay because you all knew him as Muhammad Ali, or Lew Alcindor because you all knew him as Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines? Yeah, that was a great career move. But today....today I am here to talk about someone you all know as Snoop D-O-double G. The Doggfather. No more! Has he found god? Nay. Has he made his pilgrimage to Mecca? Nay. Has he run out of "Dog" references? Nay nay...he went to Jamaica.
What the hell does going to Jamaica have to do with his name? Snoop went to Jamaica in February, and had a "spiritual awakening" (read: he got REALLY high). He was then rechristened (as if he was ever "christened" Snoop Dog) Snoop Lion by a Rastafarian priest. In a quote from Snoop (insert animal here) he said, “I didn't know that until I went to the temple, where the High Priest asked me what my name was, and I said, ‘Snoop Dogg.’ And he looked me in my eyes and said, ‘No more. You are the light; you are the lion.’ From that moment on, it's like I had started to understand why I was there.” So now, Snoop will bury the "Dogg" and embrace the "Lion". Are we all supposed to buy this shit? You have made your entire market around the use of the word Dogg, and the people have followed you. Now they are supposed to switch and start following the lead of Snoop Lion? Does that mean that your friend, and humble narrator should switch his name to Salty Lion? Nay nay, my good people..that means that Snoop (insert different animal here) has gone the way of PDDFL in my book.
When you become famous, it's like being at Cheers; everybody knows your (animal) name. When you become OVERLY famous, you become pretentious and you change your name to make people talk about you. No such thing as bad publicity I guess. No worries, my faithful few, if I ever become famous I will still be your Salty Dog. I will not forsake you all and become Salty Kitty, Salty Lion, Salty Snail, or EVER Salty PDDFL. Until next time.....Stay Salty.
-Salt Dog
All of you who actually know me, know that I love hip hop. Not this new shit that they try to pass off as hip hop, but REAL old school hip hop. All the big hip hop artists are known by their rap names more than by their real names. Many of you now know the name Joseph Simmons because he had a TV show, but for decades he was known simply as RUN. To this day rapper, movie star, and TV star LL Cool J still goes by LL Cool J, rather than James Todd Smith. Andre Romelle Young has sold millions of albums under the name Dr. Dre, and he is still Dr. Dre. But those aren't the guys that brought me here. The ones that brought me to write are the ones that get so famous that they change their name. Not always their real name, but the one that made them famous; the one by which everyone knows them.
All of you, by now, should know my least favorite one of these people...PDDFL. For those new readers out there, that is Puff Diddy Daddy Farty Licky. I don't even know what name he is going by now, the last I heard it was Swag. Then there was Prince...well, the artist formerly known as Prince... or call me Prince again..whatever that little purple clothes wearing midget is calling himself these days. It isn't limited to the rap industry, either...who remembers the name Chris Jackson? Sorry, Mahmoud Abdul Rauf. I won't go into Cassius Clay because you all knew him as Muhammad Ali, or Lew Alcindor because you all knew him as Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines? Yeah, that was a great career move. But today....today I am here to talk about someone you all know as Snoop D-O-double G. The Doggfather. No more! Has he found god? Nay. Has he made his pilgrimage to Mecca? Nay. Has he run out of "Dog" references? Nay nay...he went to Jamaica.
What the hell does going to Jamaica have to do with his name? Snoop went to Jamaica in February, and had a "spiritual awakening" (read: he got REALLY high). He was then rechristened (as if he was ever "christened" Snoop Dog) Snoop Lion by a Rastafarian priest. In a quote from Snoop (insert animal here) he said, “I didn't know that until I went to the temple, where the High Priest asked me what my name was, and I said, ‘Snoop Dogg.’ And he looked me in my eyes and said, ‘No more. You are the light; you are the lion.’ From that moment on, it's like I had started to understand why I was there.” So now, Snoop will bury the "Dogg" and embrace the "Lion". Are we all supposed to buy this shit? You have made your entire market around the use of the word Dogg, and the people have followed you. Now they are supposed to switch and start following the lead of Snoop Lion? Does that mean that your friend, and humble narrator should switch his name to Salty Lion? Nay nay, my good people..that means that Snoop (insert different animal here) has gone the way of PDDFL in my book.
When you become famous, it's like being at Cheers; everybody knows your (animal) name. When you become OVERLY famous, you become pretentious and you change your name to make people talk about you. No such thing as bad publicity I guess. No worries, my faithful few, if I ever become famous I will still be your Salty Dog. I will not forsake you all and become Salty Kitty, Salty Lion, Salty Snail, or EVER Salty PDDFL. Until next time.....Stay Salty.
-Salt Dog
Monday, July 23, 2012
Cows Hate Gay Community?
Welcome back true believers! I have just finished pouring steak sauce on my digital copy of Fifty Shades of Gray. The downside to that is that I now have to clean it out of my keyboard (the steak sauce that is). So what is it that brings fingers to those steak sauce coated keys today? Is it to declare to the world that Mitt Romney is an android of C-3PO proportions? Is it to talk about high waisted midgets wearing red pants? Is it once again to plead with you all to petition Netflix to stream BJ and the Bear? Nay nay.....it is to talk about the city that I hate most in the world (mostly for sports affiliation reasons); Boston, MA.
Let me start by stating that gay or straight, black or white, (or Olive...Terence) everyone should have the same rights in this country. This is the land of the free, the home of the brave...you know the song. If you live in this country; whether born here, immigrated here, floated here on a raft made of toilet paper rolls and old phone book pages...however you got here....you are here. Bring me your poor, your tired, your huddled massess yearning to be free? Anyone...ring any bells? But this is not about immigration, this is about Chick Fil A! How in the hell could this be about Chick Fil A? Let me begin the story....
Chick Fil A (great chicken sandwiches, slick marketing using the cows with sandwich boards) is a highly religious organization. They are closed on Sundays, they are family oriented, and when they serve you...it is their pleasure (just listen when you say "thank you"). The Chick Fil A President (Dan Cathy) has been on record stating that he (and his company) is pro god, and therefore anti-gay. I am not going to go in to a religious rant, even though religion makes good comedy. I am going to say that donating money to "anti-gay" organizations is not great for business, Danny Boy. I am not going to try to defend my statements by saying "I have gay friends", just like I would never defend racist statements by saying "I have black friends"...but I DO have friends..that happen to be gay. When it comes to my friends, it is like messing with my family....you aren't going to do it and get away with it. How does any of this relate to Boston?
May 17th, 2004 Massachusetts began allowing same sex marriages (strangely, then Robotic Governor Mitt Romney was at the helm). From this day on, Massachusetts has been (for lack of a better term) Gay Friendly. This is something that people have grown quite accustomed to. So, when Chick Fil A (anti-gay cows, remember?) decided that they wanted to open up shop in the metropolis that is Boston...Mayor Tom Menino said, you guessed it, "Nay nay". Does he have the power to keep out large companies that could help his local economy (and serve some mean chicken sandwiches) because he doesn't believe in what they stand for? Just ask Wal Mart. He kept them out of the area just because he didn't like their labor policies. Hmmm...Wal Mart...another bible thumping company kept out of Boston. I am beginning to like this guy Menino even more! So let us review here... religious grocery store? Nay. Religious chicken stand? Nay. Is Boston anti religion all of a sudden? Sorry, had to get a swipe in at the home of the hated Red Sox. I can't have you guys liking Boston all of a sudden.
Once again...chicken - good, gay hating cows - bad. Is this going to stop me from eating at Chick Fil A? Nay...I am not that politically motivated to do ANYTHING. Will I support Tom Menino is his decision to keep them out of Boston for the sake of preserving his "gay friendly" appearance? Hell yes. There is no one in this country that should be treated any differently just because they like members of the same sex. I think Dan Cathy is just upset that no gay guys have ever hit on him, and this is his way to get back at them. Just because he isn't gay (or is he a classic self loather?) doesn't mean he wouldn't like to get hit on to make him feel wanted! Okay children...it is time for me to make like a tree and get out of here. Until next time...Stay Salty!
-Salty Dog
Let me start by stating that gay or straight, black or white, (or Olive...Terence) everyone should have the same rights in this country. This is the land of the free, the home of the brave...you know the song. If you live in this country; whether born here, immigrated here, floated here on a raft made of toilet paper rolls and old phone book pages...however you got here....you are here. Bring me your poor, your tired, your huddled massess yearning to be free? Anyone...ring any bells? But this is not about immigration, this is about Chick Fil A! How in the hell could this be about Chick Fil A? Let me begin the story....
Chick Fil A (great chicken sandwiches, slick marketing using the cows with sandwich boards) is a highly religious organization. They are closed on Sundays, they are family oriented, and when they serve you...it is their pleasure (just listen when you say "thank you"). The Chick Fil A President (Dan Cathy) has been on record stating that he (and his company) is pro god, and therefore anti-gay. I am not going to go in to a religious rant, even though religion makes good comedy. I am going to say that donating money to "anti-gay" organizations is not great for business, Danny Boy. I am not going to try to defend my statements by saying "I have gay friends", just like I would never defend racist statements by saying "I have black friends"...but I DO have friends..that happen to be gay. When it comes to my friends, it is like messing with my family....you aren't going to do it and get away with it. How does any of this relate to Boston?
May 17th, 2004 Massachusetts began allowing same sex marriages (strangely, then Robotic Governor Mitt Romney was at the helm). From this day on, Massachusetts has been (for lack of a better term) Gay Friendly. This is something that people have grown quite accustomed to. So, when Chick Fil A (anti-gay cows, remember?) decided that they wanted to open up shop in the metropolis that is Boston...Mayor Tom Menino said, you guessed it, "Nay nay". Does he have the power to keep out large companies that could help his local economy (and serve some mean chicken sandwiches) because he doesn't believe in what they stand for? Just ask Wal Mart. He kept them out of the area just because he didn't like their labor policies. Hmmm...Wal Mart...another bible thumping company kept out of Boston. I am beginning to like this guy Menino even more! So let us review here... religious grocery store? Nay. Religious chicken stand? Nay. Is Boston anti religion all of a sudden? Sorry, had to get a swipe in at the home of the hated Red Sox. I can't have you guys liking Boston all of a sudden.
Once again...chicken - good, gay hating cows - bad. Is this going to stop me from eating at Chick Fil A? Nay...I am not that politically motivated to do ANYTHING. Will I support Tom Menino is his decision to keep them out of Boston for the sake of preserving his "gay friendly" appearance? Hell yes. There is no one in this country that should be treated any differently just because they like members of the same sex. I think Dan Cathy is just upset that no gay guys have ever hit on him, and this is his way to get back at them. Just because he isn't gay (or is he a classic self loather?) doesn't mean he wouldn't like to get hit on to make him feel wanted! Okay children...it is time for me to make like a tree and get out of here. Until next time...Stay Salty!
-Salty Dog
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