tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23529677980068987692024-02-07T19:17:57.631-05:00Freedom of Speech, Just Watch What You Say!The (often incoherent) thoughts from an inverted mind.Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-79764637640845870292013-12-30T13:31:00.002-05:002014-01-05T10:10:34.452-05:00Breach of ContractWelcome back, faithful followers. As many of you know, my blog is normally for me to have fun. I like to pick on the stupid things in life, point out ridiculous stories that I find, and complain about Netflix not carrying BJ and the Bear (that one I am serious about!). Today I am here with a legitimate bitch, even though it may be a selfish one. I know that I am not the only one out there who will be affected by this...hell, not even the only one of my friends.<br />
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My blog has never been political, or about politics at all. Today, we change that. When I joined the Navy in 1991, I was promised (in writing) a few things by the United States Government upon my completion of 20 years of service. Among those promises were a guarantee that I would receive 50% of my base pay per month, I would be able to retire at the age of 39, I would receive a blue ID card (and all benefits that the card includes), free medical coverage for all service connected injuries, and an annual cost of living allowance increase (COLA)...to name a few. There is currently a bill in Congress that is taking away the annual COLA for "non retirement age retirees". Now, when you read "non retirement age retirees", that may be confusing. When you do 20 years in the military, you are eligible to retire (from the military). "Retirement age" for the rest of the country is 62. So...being 42 and retired, makes me one of those non retirement age guys. What this means is, until I turn 62 years old I will not receive the COLA that the government guaranteed me...in writing. This turns out to be about 120,000.00 that I lose over that 20 year period. This doesn't seem right to me.<br />
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I was no desert warrior over my 20 year career. I was not haze grey and underway for 20 years straight. I did, however, go when/where I was told to go...stay on the ship while in port because we were fast cruising...give up my right knee to the Navy due to years of steel decks..miss my family for months on end. I did what I agreed to do when I signed the dotted line and raised my right hand. Now, the government is changing the rules, after I fulfilled my end of the deal. This is a giant crock of shit. So tell me, Congress...tell me where I failed to live up to my end. Was it that I didn't lose my family because of the time you kept me away? Was it that I didn't give you BOTH of my knees? Was it my complaints to Netflix about BJ and the Bear not being in their library? Where was it that I failed to uphold my end of the contract? So if I, a lowly Deck Ape, can do what I promise...why is it that you, the United States Government, can't do the same?<br />
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What this boils down to, is a simple Breach of Contract. What course of action do we have? If we didn't hold up our end of the deal..the Gov't would take action. We, the People....can take no such action. I know that this will fall on deaf ears, but I needed to get it out of my head. Thanks for taking the time to read. Any help or info on where to go next is welcome. Until next time...Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-32692331650038839122013-10-21T11:49:00.001-04:002013-10-21T11:49:29.410-04:00Welcome to 1981<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hello good people! It has been four months since I sat down and had anything to write about. Last month I ran into a man named EXZAYVIER, and I almost had to write about it....but I passed. But this time, I went all Popeye, and I can'ts stands no more! So what is it that brings me here today? Is it to tell you about the new, hot podcast "Attack of the Fangirls" (check them on Facebook and iTunes)? Is it to answer the age old question, "who wrote the book of love"? Is it to organize a hostile takeover of Netflix so that they will finally show BJ and the Bear? Sadly...nay nay. What brings me to all of you on this crappy Monday is my nemesis PDDFL. For those of you not following along, that would be Puff Diddy Daddy Farty Licky (Sean Combs to some of you).<br />
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Those of us who remember the early 1980s, you may remember a little network that played music videos 24/7. It was oddly named MTV...Music TeleVision. MTV picked up the idea of Friday Night Videos and ran it all the time. People loved and wanted their MTV. MTV was FM radio for your eyes. You would hear a song on the radio, and rush to MTV to see if there was a video for the song yet. Today, MTV is full of "reality" programing and very few music videos...or music anything. Did MTV move away from music videos because America doesn't want to watch that anymore? Is it because YouTube makes music videos available on demand? Is it because there is no good music out there today, anyway? Well, none of these questions matter, because starting tonight....PDDFL is bringing you Revolt TV.<br />
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PDDFL is starting his own television network, like he's Oprah or something. Revolt TV is going to be a 24 hour music video channel. 30 years later, PDDFL decides to remake MTV. Piss Dookie is trying to bring the YouTube audience back to television. I would be the first one to say that this is going to fail miserably....but I also said that his attempt to rap would fail miserably. He found a way to use the death of Biggie Smalls to carry him long enough to make a record of his own, so who knows what he's going to do with Revolt. The first 24 hours will be Bad Boy videos? All Biggie, all the time? The resurgence of Mase? Ooooh, one can only hope.<br />
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Does the world need an MTV reboot? Will those of you in the Time Warner Cable area be tuning in? Should someone stop Piss Dookie from destroying our childhood memories? Check out his teaser here <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKU_PU3oCiI" target="_blank">RevoltTV</a>. I know that I am anti-PDDFL, but if any of you see this as a good idea, please let me know. Okay kids, off to get some work done. Hopefully next time we meet won't be four months from now. Until next time....Stay Salty.<br />
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- Salty Dog<br />
<br />Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-39799870432453348962013-06-18T10:11:00.000-04:002013-06-18T10:11:02.302-04:00Can't Stands No MoreGreetings from the abyss! I have returned. I know it has been awhile since I put fingers to keys, but I'm getting fed up. And when I get fed up, I need to purge...What is it that could pull me away from enjoying my backyard oasis, just to come here? Is it that the new Yeezy album is on the streets today? Nay to the Nay. Is it to tell you to go over to <a href="http://www.kingsofsport.com/">www.kingsofsport.com</a> and listen to a great podcast? (maybe...but not my primary goal). Is it to, once again, beg you all to join me in a march on Netflix so that they will bring us BJ and the Bear? YES!....but nay nay for the time being. What brings me here today is the treatment of the Flag.<br />
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If, for some freak reason, you don't know...I did 20 years in the United States Navy. I started my career on February 19, 1991. For those that may not remember, this was the beginning of Operation Desert Shield. Did I join the Navy for college money? Did I join the Navy for the travel? Did I join the Navy to get away from Hyde Park? Nay nay....I joined the Navy because I was a Patriot, and I felt it was my duty to protect this country, its flag, and what it stands for. I have since retired from the Navy, but I am still a Patriot, and am here today because assholes in our own country are desecrating the Flag.<br />
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Last week, HGTV decided that they would send out their recommendations for Summer party decorations. That's cool, HGTV is that type of company. They tell you how to hang red, white, and blue banners around your yard. They tell you how to use Cool Whip, strawberries, and blueberries to make a festive 4th of July dessert. They tell you to use an American Flag as a tablecloth. Wait, what? HGTV actually told Americans to "Drape a large American Flag over the table as a bright and festive table runner." "Use a nylon flag, so spills can easily be wiped off and the flag can later be hung with pride on a flag pole." WHAT? Are you kidding me? Feel free to spill your food and drink all over the symbol of our country. Then wipe it off and run it up the pole and honor it? Don't they make "flag themed" table runners? Should we wipe our mouths on the flag too? Nay, they make flag themed napkins. Why in the world would you suggest using an actual flag for these purposes? HGTV has since apologized for this suggestion, but only because they were under heavy fire from the people of America.<br />
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Yesterday, Lil' Wayne made world wide news. Was it because he is such an incredible artist? Was it because he got a new tattoo? Was it because he claimed to have sex with a woman with a baseball bat? Nay nay...it is because he has a new video on the street where he walks on the American Flag. If you want to see this mess, just Google Lil' Wayne American Flag, I am not showing it here.<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> The
song is titled "God Bless Amerika" and contains the lyrics: “My country
‘tis of thee/ sweet land of kill ‘em all and let ‘em die/ God bless
Amerika/ This so godless Amerika … the stars on the flag are never
shining.” First off, it doesn't even rhyme!! His assault on hip hop disgusts me almost as his assault on the country that my shipmates and I vowed to defend. He has since attempted to apologize by saying that his stepping on the flag was an accident. He says that the flag was supposed to fall to the ground behind him, but he was not scripted to step on it. This brings a few things to mind; why not edit that part out of your video if it was an "accident"? Why would you think it was okay to let the Flag fall to the ground in the first place? Why in the blue hell do you want to continue living here if you feel this way about our country? Why didn't you apologize for writing and performing shitty music? </span></span><br />
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">All Lil' Wayne talks about it being knee deep, waist deep, neck deep in his women. Hey Wayne... you can have all of those women...it sounds like you can drive a truck through them. You can even continue making awful music for the youth of today who don't know what real hip hop is. What you cannot do in this country, is desecrate the Flag. You, sir, are a giant trough of douche. You not only disrespected the symbol of this country, but all the men and women who fought and died in order to protect it. I would protest your music and no longer listen to you...but I don't listen to you anyway. In closing...Fuck HGTV and Fuck Wayne. Until next time...Stay Salty.</span></span><br />
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">-Salty Dog</span></span>Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-21783033928595825232013-03-27T22:51:00.002-04:002013-03-27T22:51:46.284-04:00BandwagonWelcome back faithful few! It has been a bit since I have been here to bother you with my ramblings, but here I am. What is it that brings me back to you all? Is it to discuss how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Is it to complain about Michael Rooker's character being killed off on The Walking Dead? Is it to, once again, exhibit my hatred toward Netflix for not streaming BJ and the Bear? Nay nay, good people. What brings me here today is the Bandwagon.<br />
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I have been a life long Yankees fan, that includes the 1980s when they were a giant pile of crap in the Bronx. I have been a Jets fan forever....and I don't need to tell you all how bad they have been since before I was born. Rangers fan...1994 was an anomaly, we kinda suck. Knicks fan...don't even get me started. It was cool to be a Mets fan in 86, Islanders fan in the 70s, Giants fan for many years...not this guy. All of my friends know this about me; I am loyal to my teams no matter what the public opinion. This carries over to everything else in my life, too. I am loyal, and my friends know this. What does this have to do with anything?<br />
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There are many people out there that support the troops. There are many people out there that support breast cancer awareness. There are many people who support equal rights for same sex couples. The problem with all of this is that there are many MORE people who just put the magnets on their car, or wear the shirt, or (most recently) change their Facebook profile picture because that is the "in" thing to do. People would rather "fly the flag" than be called out for NOT supporting the issue.<br />
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For those of you who have been asking what the pink equal sign on the red background in everyone's profile picture is.. it is a show of support for same sex marriage. Those of you who are my Facebook friends will notice that my profile picture is me and Kurtis Blow. Does this mean that I do not support gay marriage? Once again I must say "nay nay". I fully believe that anyone should be able to marry the person that they love; no matter who that person is. The thing with me, is that my friends already know that I support them. A picture on my Facebook page is unnecessary. My friends are my friends, I don't have friend categories. I don't have straight friends and gay friends...I have friends. And my friends know that I support them no matter what.<br />
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Groupies are allowed to marry convicted murderers while they are in jail, and there is no outcry against that. But if two guys or two girls who are in love with each other want to get married, half of the country loses its shit. The only argument I have heard on this whole issue is "the bible says it's wrong". Well the bible isn't the governing document for this country; it is the Constitution. This is why we have a separation between church and State, so someone's interpretation of a piece of (fictional) literature doesn't determine how we all live. I am not saying that religious people should change their way of thinking, because I know that is a losing battle. What I am saying is don't let religious views influence the laws of this country.<br />
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No worries children, I am almost off of my soapbox as my fake knee is beginning to bother me. So if you believe in equality for all men and women across the board, by all means, keep up the good work. For those of you who allow religion to determine what you think, you probably stopped reading as soon as you saw the word "gay", so my words to you would be wasted anyway. But, if by some freak of nature, you are still here....answer me this; how will two guys who love each other getting married affect you personally? That's right...it won't! How will two girls in love getting married affect you? That's right...it won't! So if this will not change your life in any way, why do you have an issue with it? Better yet, why should your opinion matter to the rest of us? And lastly...for those of you who are afraid to be called out and changed your profile picture because everyone else was doing it...listen to EPMD and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zspUruni_qU" target="_blank">Get Off The Bandwagon!</a> Until next time....Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty Dog<br />
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<br />Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-6610096159008542382013-01-14T19:52:00.003-05:002013-01-14T19:52:47.403-05:00By The Time I Get To ArizonaGreetings all. I hope your New Year started off well. For those of you following, I am 16 pounds into my Operation Anti-Disco Three. 16 pounds closer to Bill Winters hand delivering the DVD collection that Netflix refuses to carry....yes, BJ and the Bear! But that is not what brings me here today. Is it to discuss Jodie Foster coming out of the closet on the Golden Globes? Is it to argue once again that Starbuck wasn't a woman (that's for you, Terence)? Don't think that I have forgotten about Netflix, the big red rig, and the ape in people clothes, either. But....nay nay...these are not the reasons that I am here today.<br />
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Many of you may remember the 1991 Public Enemy release "By The Time I Get To Arizona". This was about Arizona not recognizing Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday as a holiday. This was a huge black eye (irony) for the state of Arizona. People threatened to stop visiting the state, cactus viewing was down, and the Super Bowl was moved away from the state. The state finally came to its senses and voted to acknowledge MLK Jr's birthday as a holiday. But what does any of this have to do with why I am here?<br />
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The University of Arizona is offering Hip Hop as a minor! The State that would not acknowledge the importance of the Civil Rights movement now wants its students to compare Rakim and KRS One? I am wondering if I can get my bachelor's in Information Systems and Minor in Hip Hop? I checked, U of Arizona offers their degree programs online. I am almost willing to pay out of pocket to get my degree from them just so I can minor in Hip Hop. The debates that I could have with other students (who are mostly "college age") on this topic would be borderline epic. The thing that is slowing me down on this is the fact that they will probably get into PDDFL and Weezy, and I may completely lose it. I will have to look into this further, and see if this is possible. Hopefully I will figure it out by the time I get to Arizona.<br />
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I know that this post went nowhere for most of you, but the fact that I can study the impact of Public Enemy's "By The Time I Get To Arizona", on the State of Arizona, at the University of Arizona just makes it all worth while. So, until next time....Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-81249439242246857402013-01-02T20:23:00.001-05:002013-01-02T20:23:20.074-05:00Fat Boys Are Back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Welcome back, faithful few. It is that time of year when everyone sets unrealistic goals that they have no plans of following through on. But, as many of you may be saying to yourself now, "This year is going to be different!" So what brings fingers to keys? Is it the death of a dumb ass paparazzo trying to catch Justin Bieber smoking weed in his Ferrari? Is it to compare the fiscal cliff to Clifford the Big Red Dog? Is it to chastise you all for not getting me the BJ and the Bear series for Christmas? Let's start this year off with a hearty "Nay Nay". I am here today to talk about how fat I've gotten, and what I am going to do about it.<br />
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When I joined the Navy in 1991 I was 19 years old and 137lbs. Now, for those of you that knew me back then, you know I was a bit underweight. After 18 years of marriage (read: good eating), 4 knee surgeries (read: no exercise), and being 41 years old (read: just plain lazy) I have reached Hindenburg proportions and now tip the scales at 257lbs! I understand that as we get older, our metabolism slows and blah blah blah...I have become a member of the Disco Three (read: Fat Boys). The fact that it is early January has nothing to do with my plan to reach a healthier weight of 185. The mirror was the driving force more than the time of year.<br />
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I have a new pool, and I refuse to be sunning myself poolside and have to worry about Greenpeace rushing in to my yard and pushing me back in the water. I do not wish to be featured on an episode of Whale Wars. I will instead, starve myself, drink enough water to drown a fish, buy one of those belt driven fat machines (seen here), or whatever it takes to get myself back to fighting weight. My plan is to be down around 200 by Summer. For any of you (like Bill) who are on this journey with me...let's kick some fat ass! Don't do it because it's January and you think you are supposed to. Don't do it because Jessica Simpson is on TV telling you that SHE did it. Do it because you know, and can admit, that you are a fat ass and you need to change. For all of you guys out there...as you recall, Mix-A-Lot likes big butts. Do you want to be on his list? Are you looking to make your woman check you out, or do you want to hook up with Mix-A-Lot? Either way is cool with me, but is Mix on my list? I say nay nay.<br />
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So fat people of the world UNITE...it is time to lose the weight. And I swear, if I get down to 185 SOMEBODY had better get me the BJ and the Bear series on DVD. Until next time people...Stay Salty!<br />
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-Salty Dog<br />
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Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-27493622628673707182012-12-22T22:03:00.001-05:002012-12-22T22:04:05.280-05:00Ho Ho Ho...Merry Christmas My FootWelcome back, faithful few! It has been a little bit since I have put fingers to keys, but I am here for my second annual Christmas post. Last year I wrote about my distaste for the way people act around "the Season", and wonder why they can't be like that all year round....amongst other things. We are not here to rehash last year's blog though. So then why are we here? Is it to talk about who is better; Heat Miser or Snow Miser? Is it to debate white lights or colored lights for the Christmas tree? Is it to ask all of you to combine your efforts to get me the complete BJ and the Bear series on DVD? I say nay nay....well except for the last one, of course. It is a Christmas poll question! Come on, everyone loves poll questions. This time around, the question is, "what is your favorite Christmas movie?" We aren't going to get into television shows, but any movie that is about Christmas, or takes place with Christmas as a backdrop qualifies.<br />
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How is it that I could ask you all to tell me your favorite without me first telling you mine? It is impossible! So...my favorite Christmas movie is set in the South Bronx in 1984. The movie follows Kenny, his brother Lee, and Kenny's friends Ramon and Chollie. Kenny is the local DJ for house parties, but he lands a job at Kool Herc's club; The Burning Spear. During this scene, Kenny introduces one of the acts...which turns out to be The Treacherous Three featuring Doug E Fresh. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh8hB1tAip8" target="_blank">Watch the scene here</a> Kenny's performance earns him a New Year's Eve gig at the Roxy, and leads to the ending scene of the film. So my movie takes place all through the Christmas season. The movie, for those of you who still are unfamiliar..is Beat Street.<br />
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How can Beat Street be my favorite Christmas movie? Because it contains some of my favorite things....classic rap, break dancing, graffiti, and Doug E Fresh! What could make a Christmas movie any better? I hear all of these people saying that It's A Wonderful Life is the greatest Christmas movie of all time. Are you kidding me? That movie is soooooo slow, and at times very boring. There are no boring scenes in Beat Street! I understand that not everyone likes what I like, but you won't know until you try! Beat Street is streaming on Netflix, so for those of you who have never seen it..and have Netflix...go ahead and watch it. It is a Christmas movie, after all. Plus, how many times can you really watch A Christmas Story? I am sure that one of your cable channels will be running it again... and again...and again in the next few days. Take some time to watch (for many of you) a NEW Christmas film, and the Salty one is serving it up to you on a silver platter.<br />
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So, to recap....Beat Street good....Wonderful Life bad. But, that is just one guy's opinion....I came here to ask for yours. What is your favorite Christmas movie? If you haven't seen Beat Street yet, I will take your answer with a grain of Salt. Oh, and don't forget your friend and humble narrator when the 25th rolls around....I really wasn't kidding about that BJ and the Bear thing. Until next time... Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-16097891418909850932012-12-16T22:12:00.001-05:002012-12-16T22:12:32.665-05:00A Parent's Response<span style="font-size: large;">WHEN <span style="font-size: large;">6 AND 7 YEAR OLD CHILDREN ARE GUNNED DOWN IN THEIR SCHOOL, THE ANSWER IS NOT "IF WE HAD PRAYER I<span style="font-size: large;">N SCHOOL, THIS WOULD NOT HAV<span style="font-size: large;">E HAPPENED." <span style="font-size: large;">STOP TAKING TRAGIC, HEART WRENCHING SITUATIONS AND USING THEM TO THROW AROUND YOUR RELIGION. FUCK YOU, FOX NEWS<span style="font-size: large;">.</span> FUC<span style="font-size: large;">K YOU VERY MUCH.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">-Salty Dog </span></span></span></span></span></span>Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-42077707415051999862012-11-05T20:00:00.002-05:002012-11-05T20:00:50.683-05:00Back In The DayWelcome back boys and girls! While most of my forays into the writing world are driven by anger at the stupidity that surrounds me, today's journey is more nostalgia based. Is this a trip back to the days when I thought PDDFL was a great producer? Is it the fact that I could really go for a Chocodile and a Zeltzer Seltzer? Is it that I want to organize a Million Man March on Netflix headquarters in order to get BJ and the Bear streaming? Sadly, nay nay. What brings me here today is music.<br />
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I was driving to work this morning and heard LL Cool J's "I Need Love" on the radio. Hearing that song immediately brought me back to 1987 and the release of the BAD album (LL's BAD, not MJ's). This was the first "slow jam" rap that I had ever heard, and I can remember it playing after Mama Montego had told New Yorkers to "take care, darling...and walk good." This was LL's sophomore effort after he had stomped on the scene with the Radio album. As a 16 year old hip hop head, (pre lip licking) James Todd Smith was one of my favorites. We all know that he has gone on to become a film and TV actor today, but back then he was just a bad ass kid from Farmers Blvd with a hat like a shark's fin. He was so BAD that he had not one, but TWO DJs; Bobcat and Cut Creator. I can, to this day, sing every song on that record from "I'm Bad" all the way down to "The Do Wop". While many kids of my era will tell you that Zeppelin or Floyd shaped their musical tastes, I will tell you that LL's BAD album shaped mine.<br />
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Music is amazing; it can transport you to a time or place that is long gone. It has magical powers that do not require you to go 88 miles per hour, nor are you required to generate 1.21 jigawatts of power in order to go back in time. I am not a music snob, there are many songs from many different bands that can take me to many different times. Jethro Tull takes me back to my early youth, A-ha takes me back to the early days of MTV (back when they still played videos), Queen Latifah takes me back to the Catherine Street Center and my High School days, Another Bad Creation brings me back to Boot Camp....the list goes on. What I am trying to say is that music is a great thing. <br />
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I have been into hip hop since I was about 12 years old, but there is really no record that stands out in the "shaping of my youth" more than that one. While I know that this is not what all of you may have listened to, but you all have a song or a record that takes you back. Don't get me wrong, I do not wish that I were a kid again, like Ahmad (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyVu_v82vjM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyVu_v82vjM</a>) but I do wish they made music like they used to. So...what am I trying to say? What is the song that takes YOU back? And where does it bring you? That's all for now...see you all in Los Gatos, California for the Million Man March on Netflix! Until then...Stay Salty.<br />
-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-74268094343818810132012-10-23T22:05:00.001-04:002012-10-23T22:06:11.805-04:00Monster Mash<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_VvEs7xWG-UDG3C2S4VdoLpTE5f55P9wPbMYaEdwTBOrylQZk5-BEiCQAbWmBWs4778xGp4zIwtMpm2g4uS97YBpi_gUF3t8YwTwewUkjm8q3JMWfD88FdN4yPUSi1i3vuFpWJprPGqA/s1600/Monster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_VvEs7xWG-UDG3C2S4VdoLpTE5f55P9wPbMYaEdwTBOrylQZk5-BEiCQAbWmBWs4778xGp4zIwtMpm2g4uS97YBpi_gUF3t8YwTwewUkjm8q3JMWfD88FdN4yPUSi1i3vuFpWJprPGqA/s1600/Monster.jpg" /></a></div>
Welcome back true believers! I am sorry to have left you all, but I have been busy getting my education on. What is it that brings my fingers back to keys on this fine October night? Is it the latest knock down, drag out fight that was the Presidential debate? Is it my overwhelming urge to ride in to battle on a horse armed with a bayonet? Is it once again to plead for your assistance in sharing my outrage that BJ and the Bear is STILL not on Netflix? Nay nay good people, it is the public outcry for justice over Monster Energy Drinks and their competitors.<br />
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Let me preface this mess by saying that anyone dying (except pedophiles and PDDFL) is no laughing matter. That being said, who lets their 14 year old...with a genetic heart condition..drink two Monster Energy Drinks in a day? As you can all see from the picture above, Monster posts a warning label on their cans stating "Not recommended for children, pregnant women, or people sensitive to caffeine." If you ignore these warnings, you cannot then sue the company for the death of your child.... who once again, has a genetic heart condition. The only thing that would make this decision worse is if the girl was pregnant too. Call me insensitive if you will, but I am not the one who let my 14 year old (with heart problems) drink 480mg of caffeine in a single day. While that is only 4 cups of strong coffee, it also equates to about 28 cans of Coke. So would any of you let your child drink more than a case of Coke in a day? I say nay nay.<br />
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Am I a nay sayer when it comes to energy drinks? More like a nay nay sayer, but not when energy drinks are involved. I am a huge fan of caffeine and all of its carbonated or non carbonated incarnations. I love my coffee, I have tried most every energy drink that has hit the market, I have ingested more caffeine pills than I have vegetables in the past 20 years; I am a caffeine junkie! On that topic, I am also 40 years old and know my limits. When I begin to shake like Michael J Fox, I know that I have had enough. I may be destroying my liver in the process, but I can't do any more damage than the daily allowance of Vitamin M (read Motrin) that the Navy put me on for 10 years.<br />
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If you are going to drink Monsters, or anything of the sort, go right ahead...and enjoy. Be careful with the purple ones, they somehow turn your shat to British Racing Green liquid. If there is a new drink that hits the market that doesn't taste like Red Bull (read wet car keys), please let me know so that I can try it. Please be your kid's parent, not their friend, and keep them away from this shit. If you DO let them drink energy drinks, monitor their intake, check their medical history, and don't try to sue others due to your own negligence if something goes wrong. If your kids have already stocked up on such beverages, feel free to mail them to me. I will dispose of them in the proper receptacle. Until next time...Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-30920429421944137082012-09-15T23:39:00.002-04:002012-09-15T23:45:45.741-04:00F-R-E-S-HWelcome back faithful few! Sorry to tell you, there is no tirade this time around. There is so much out there that I could go off about (the robot Presidential candidate, the fucktards in Egypt, the lack of BJ and the Bear on Netflix) but I won't. I am here to talk about the greatest concert of the year; Fresh Fest.<br />
If there are any Lil Wayne fans reading (not that I believe that there are) you should turn back now because you will not understand anything I am about to say. As a die hard old school hip hop fan, there aren't a lot of concerts that I want to go to. The local clubs and "arenas" would rather bring in 2 Chainz or some other shit act than go with something proven. NTelos Pavilion in Portsmouth.... that is a different story.<br />
Every year (for the past three) nTelos Pavilion has decided that since old school acts aren't touring together, they will invite them separately to play on the same night. The turnout for this show is amazing. While the majority of the fans that come out for this festival are over age 40, there are some younger audience members in attendance. This year's show saw Chubb Rock, Big Daddy Kane, Slick Rick, MC Lyte, and Salt n Pepa. There is not an artist on this list that I haven't been a fan of since the 1980s, and nTelos brought them all together on one stage.<br />
This concert was like one big block party. Outside of my home, this is the closest I have felt to family. The other fans at this show felt the same as I did; THIS is hip hop. There was no fear of a fight breaking out, no worries of being shot by some dumb ass kid trying to be hard, nothing of the sort. This was a bunch of grown adults reliving their childhood, and the music that shaped their lives. There were no bouncers, no security guards keeping the crowd away from the stage, and no police stationed around the exits. There were shell toes, Kangols, giant hoop earrings, I even saw a guy with overalls on with one strap hanging off.<br />
Not only does the rap music of today pale in comparison to the music of my teenage years (yes Bill, I understand where you are coming from, even if your wife doesn't), but the fans suck too. If Lil Wayne raps in the woods and there is no one there to hear it, does it still suck? I can answer that question with a definitive "Yes!" Hip hop is not just rap; it is a culture...it is a way of life. MCing, graffiti, b-boying, and DJing all make up what it is that we call hip hop. So while Dr Seuss is in essence a rapper, it takes a lot more to be an MC. Everyone on stage at Fresh Fest was a certified MC. So, to Lil Wayne and all his little carbon copies...rap may indeed be what you do, but hip hop..hip hop is what I am. <br />
NTelos Pavilion...keep doing what you do. You keep bringing Fresh Fest, and the true fans will keep coming. Everyone else in the area, take notes. Do the masses want to see 2 Chainz? I say nay nay. Bring us KRS One, Kwame, Dana Dane, Black Sheep...hip hop shows that are safe for us to attend. Let us enjoy QUALITY hip hop, and we will keep coming back. Until next time people...Stay Salty.<br />
-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-36424635438940162222012-08-02T12:29:00.000-04:002012-08-02T12:29:23.505-04:00What's My Name?What? Yes, I am back again. Don't go getting all used to me being here every week..this has just been a busy time in interesting news. This next piece of news may not catch any of your fancies, but as I have told you numerous times..this isn't about you! So what is it that brings me to the keyboard today? Is it to debate which is a more ridiculous Olympic sport; curling or handball? Is it to prepare you for the impending Zombie Apocalypse? (see <a href="http://www.torresvszombies.com/" target="_blank">www.torresvszombies.com</a>) Is it once again to plead with you all to petition Netflix to show BJ and the Bear? Nay nay...what brings me here today is the question of "What's My Name?"<br />
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All of you who actually know me, know that I love hip hop. Not this new shit that they try to pass off as hip hop, but REAL old school hip hop. All the big hip hop artists are known by their rap names more than by their real names. Many of you now know the name Joseph Simmons because he had a TV show, but for decades he was known simply as RUN. To this day rapper, movie star, and TV star LL Cool J still goes by LL Cool J, rather than James Todd Smith. Andre Romelle Young has sold millions of albums under the name Dr. Dre, and he is still Dr. Dre. But those aren't the guys that brought me here. The ones that brought me to write are the ones that get so famous that they change their name. Not always their real name, but the one that made them famous; the one by which everyone knows them.<br />
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All of you, by now, should know my least favorite one of these people...PDDFL. For those new readers out there, that is Puff Diddy Daddy Farty Licky. I don't even know what name he is going by now, the last I heard it was Swag. Then there was Prince...well, the artist formerly known as Prince... or call me Prince again..whatever that little purple clothes wearing midget is calling himself these days. It isn't limited to the rap industry, either...who remembers the name Chris Jackson? Sorry, Mahmoud Abdul Rauf. I won't go into Cassius Clay because you all knew him as Muhammad Ali, or Lew Alcindor because you all knew him as Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines? Yeah, that was a great career move. But today....today I am here to talk about someone you all know as Snoop D-O-double G. The Doggfather. No more! Has he found god? Nay. Has he made his pilgrimage to Mecca? Nay. Has he run out of "Dog" references? Nay nay...he went to Jamaica.<br />
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What the hell does going to Jamaica have to do with his name? Snoop went to Jamaica in February, and had a "spiritual awakening" (read: he got REALLY high). He was then rechristened (as if he was ever "christened" Snoop Dog) Snoop Lion by a Rastafarian priest. In a quote from Snoop (insert animal here) he said, “I didn't know that until I went to the temple, where the High Priest
asked me what my name was, and I said, ‘Snoop Dogg.’ And he looked me in
my eyes and said, ‘No more. You are the light; you are the lion.’ From
that moment on, it's like I had started to understand why I was there.” So now, Snoop will bury the "Dogg" and embrace the "Lion". Are we all supposed to buy this shit? You have made your entire market around the use of the word Dogg, and the people have followed you. Now they are supposed to switch and start following the lead of Snoop Lion? Does that mean that your friend, and humble narrator should switch his name to Salty Lion? Nay nay, my good people..that means that Snoop (insert different animal here) has gone the way of PDDFL in my book.<br />
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When you become famous, it's like being at Cheers; everybody knows your (animal) name. When you become OVERLY famous, you become pretentious and you change your name to make people talk about you. No such thing as bad publicity I guess. No worries, my faithful few, if I ever become famous I will still be your Salty Dog. I will not forsake you all and become Salty Kitty, Salty Lion, Salty Snail, or EVER Salty PDDFL. Until next time.....Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salt Dog<br />
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<br />Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-30117282369234671262012-07-23T12:50:00.002-04:002012-07-23T12:50:57.466-04:00Cows Hate Gay Community?Welcome back true believers! I have just finished pouring steak sauce on my digital copy of Fifty Shades of Gray. The downside to that is that I now have to clean it out of my keyboard (the steak sauce that is). So what is it that brings fingers to those steak sauce coated keys today? Is it to declare to the world that Mitt Romney is an android of C-3PO proportions? Is it to talk about high waisted midgets wearing red pants? Is it once again to plead with you all to petition Netflix to stream BJ and the Bear? Nay nay.....it is to talk about the city that I hate most in the world (mostly for sports affiliation reasons); Boston, MA.<br />
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Let me start by stating that gay or straight, black or white, (or Olive...Terence) everyone should have the same rights in this country. This is the land of the free, the home of the brave...you know the song. If you live in this country; whether born here, immigrated here, floated here on a raft made of toilet paper rolls and old phone book pages...however you got here....you are here. Bring me your poor, your tired, your huddled massess yearning to be free? Anyone...ring any bells? But this is not about immigration, this is about Chick Fil A! How in the hell could this be about Chick Fil A? Let me begin the story....<br />
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Chick Fil A (great chicken sandwiches, slick marketing using the cows with sandwich boards) is a highly religious organization. They are closed on Sundays, they are family oriented, and when they serve you...it is their pleasure (just listen when you say "thank you"). The Chick Fil A President (Dan Cathy) has been on record stating that he (and his company) is pro god, and therefore anti-gay. I am not going to go in to a religious rant, even though religion makes good comedy. I am going to say that donating money to "anti-gay" organizations is not great for business, Danny Boy. I am not going to try to defend my statements by saying "I have gay friends", just like I would never defend racist statements by saying "I have black friends"...but I DO have friends..that happen to be gay. When it comes to my friends, it is like messing with my family....you aren't going to do it and get away with it. How does any of this relate to Boston?<br />
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May 17th, 2004 Massachusetts began allowing same sex marriages (strangely, then Robotic Governor Mitt Romney was at the helm). From this day on, Massachusetts has been (for lack of a better term) Gay Friendly. This is something that people have grown quite accustomed to. So, when Chick Fil A (anti-gay cows, remember?) decided that they wanted to open up shop in the metropolis that is Boston...Mayor Tom Menino said, you guessed it, "Nay nay". Does he have the power to keep out large companies that could help his local economy (and serve some mean chicken sandwiches) because he doesn't believe in what they stand for? Just ask Wal Mart. He kept them out of the area just because he didn't like their labor policies. Hmmm...Wal Mart...another bible thumping company kept out of Boston. I am beginning to like this guy Menino even more! So let us review here... religious grocery store? Nay. Religious chicken stand? Nay. Is Boston anti religion all of a sudden? Sorry, had to get a swipe in at the home of the hated Red Sox. I can't have you guys liking Boston all of a sudden.<br />
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Once again...chicken - good, gay hating cows - bad. Is this going to stop me from eating at Chick Fil A? Nay...I am not that politically motivated to do ANYTHING. Will I support Tom Menino is his decision to keep them out of Boston for the sake of preserving his "gay friendly" appearance? Hell yes. There is no one in this country that should be treated any differently just because they like members of the same sex. I think Dan Cathy is just upset that no gay guys have ever hit on him, and this is his way to get back at them. Just because he isn't gay (or is he a classic self loather?) doesn't mean he wouldn't like to get hit on to make him feel wanted! Okay children...it is time for me to make like a tree and get out of here. Until next time...Stay Salty!<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-15446378605432799052012-07-14T11:12:00.003-04:002012-07-14T11:12:59.940-04:0050 Shades of Grey and 1 Shade of Brown?Welcome back everyone! It has been a few months since I have sat here and vented my complaints about the world to you....so I am back...from outer space...(sorry, possessed by Gloria Gaynor there for a second). And what is it that has brought me from the depths of homework and spending time with my family to the screen today? Is it that I have figured out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop? Is it that one half of the Airwolf crew died and it wasn't even in a blazing helicopter crash (what a let down)? Is it my ongoing battle to get BJ and the Bear on Netflix? Nay to the Nay. What brings me here today is the phenomenon that is "Fifty Shades of Grey".<br />
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Let me begin by saying, nay, I have not read these books. I don't have the desire to read them either; they are written for women, and that is who should read them. These books have been labelled "mom porn". The media is eating this up and making even MORE women want to run out and get this book. All every woman wants, be it mother, senator, nun....is to find out what is between the pages of these books! Whoever this woman's marketing person is, they need a raise! It isn't like this is the first women's porn book, or even the first with S&M (see Anne Rice's "Sleeping Beauty" trilogy), but this was related to Twilight...and you know how the women love them some sparkly vampires. This book was a work of Twilight fan fiction that went horribly...right, I guess. Fan fiction is a great thing...it's kind of like sitting around a campfire and exploring all of the "what ifs" from your favorite stories. For example...what if Bruce Wayne lost all of his money? Then you would branch from there...and eventually write a story of Broke Ass Batman...or something of the sort. <br />
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Now that you know about the book (as if you didn't already)...I can tell you what brought me here. It was not the book, itself, but how it has apparently angered someone. Raymond Hodgson (31) of Carlisle, UK decided that he had a problem! His long time girlfriend (Emma McCormick...yes McCormick..ironic, but you don't know why yet) decided to start reading the passages of the book out loud to him. Now let's pause here....has your significant other ever been reading and said, "listen to this...." and then proceeded to read to you the funny part? It is fairly normal for this to happen to couples. Okay...back to the lab... SO, this guy decides that what he is hearing is dirty and wrong, and his girlfriend shouldn't be reading it. An argument ensues and he leaves the premises.<br />
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Hodgson returned the next day after sleeping on it. Did he say, "it's just a book, why am I so upset?" Did he say, "I've seen some crazy porn in my day, that was nothing." Nay nay...he said, "Saucy? I'll show this bitch SAUCY!" So he gets in his car and drives over to Ms. McCormick's (irony coming soon!) home. He continues the argument and in an act of premeditated saucing, pulls out a bottle of steak sauce and squirts her in the face with it! I wonder what brand of sauce it was....possibly McCormick's? Hodgson was ordered to pay her $150 in compensation and cover her $130
in legal fees, and given a 6pm curfew for a month and a half. The guy is 31 years old and has a 6pm curfew? Does he still live with his mom? Is this HER punishment for him? <br />
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Anyway...there is no message today, just a need to share the story about this dumbass. So until next time...keep reading the Fifty Shades books, stay away from sparkly vampires, and BJ and the Bear, dammit! Oh yeah...and Stay Salty!<br />
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-Salty Dog<br />
<br />Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-81192142096505022712012-04-25T10:53:00.000-04:002012-04-25T10:53:41.636-04:00Cleanliness is Next to Drunkenness?Welcome back friends and followers! What is it that brings fingers to keys on this fine Wednesday? Is it that the President slow jammed the news with Jimmy Fallon last night? Is it that I don't want to do my homework? Is it that I am still trying to come up with a petition to get BJ and the Bear on Netflix? Nay nay...although all of these things are true, they are not what today's topic is about. Today we ask the question "Is Cleanliness next to drunkenness?"<br />
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As confusing as that question may sound to most of you, there is a method to my madness. While strolling down the Facebook news feed this morning (which I do before I start my homework for the day) I found an article from Fort Wayne, Indiana posted by my friend Jim Green. It tells the story of how the teenage hicks from Indiana have taken to ingesting hand sanitizer. I laugh and think that this is some isolated incident of bored teenagers. I then Google this topic and find that it is a much larger issue than I initially thought. I find an ABC News article on kids in California doing the same thing (<a href="http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/04/teens-getting-drunk-on-hand-sanitizer/">http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/04/teens-getting-drunk-on-hand-sanitizer/</a>)<br />
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Our teens today have decided that rather than get someone with a fake ID, or steal some liquor from Dad's collection, they are going to start drinking hand sanitizer! What happened to the days of chugging NyQuil (we love you, you giant fucking Q!). Cough syrup tastes much better than hand sanitizer, one would think. But nay, the youth of today would rather drink cleaning agents than the original green death flavor of our beloved NyQuil. I recall being threatened with soap in my mouth for swearing when I was young...have these children not been scared the same way? How hard up for alcohol does one have to get to start looking at hand sanitizer and saying, "man, I sure could use a drink of THAT right now!"?<br />
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I can appreciate a teenager stealing a bottle from his/her parents' liquor cabinet. It is almost a rite of passage. As long as they aren't pouring it into their eyeball (see earlier blog Vodka Eyeballing). I would not be offended if a teen asked me to buy them some beer (not that I would..but I would not be offended). But to drink hand cleaner?? That isn't even creative, that's just stupid. Next they will be drinking gasoline because of ethanol percentage will have gotten high enough to entice them. Then again, a case of beer will be cheaper than a gallon of gasoline soon.<br />
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So here is a message from someone who has been there...there are much easier (and safer) ways to get drunk than products that are not made for consumption. This also covers huffing your own fermented shit (see earlier blog, I don't even want to get in to this again). Ask your older brother, ask your uncle, ask your buddy's brother...teenagers have been getting drunk under age for YEARS! Gather the wisdom of your elders...stop trying to invent things...you guys are doing it all wrong. Come on...huffing shit, pouring perfectly good liquor in your eyes, drinking hand cleaner... what's next? Licking your cat's ass? Stop while you are ahead...and still alive. Until next time... Stay Salty!<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-10551696604241589412012-03-27T11:35:00.002-04:002012-03-27T11:35:38.094-04:00StarbugsWelcome back faithful few! It has been a bit since I have put fingers to keyboard..but I am here to deliver on Arnold's promise...I'm back. As many of you know, I am an old school coffee kind of guy. Starbucks is not my friend..I don't do snob coffee. I can handle Dunkin Donuts and their Al Pacino commercials for Dunkaccino before I will consider letting an Italian Bartender make my cup of Joe. So what is it that brings me back? Is it to discuss Tim Tebow ordering a Virgin Mary from a bar in New York City? Is it Rex Ryan choosing his starting quarterback by how sexy his feet are? Is it the fact that the Prince of Tides was neither about Princes nor Tides? Nay nay...it is once again, Starbucks!<br />
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Starbucks apparently has a new menu item. Strawberry Frappuccino. You can order this item in small, medium, or large...(just don't try to order it that way...they don't respond to English). What you can't order this item without though...is bugs. Cochineal bugs to be precise. What the hell is a cochineal bug? You may be asking yourself. Well let your friend and humble narrator show you!<br />
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This little bugger is killed, dried out, and crushed to make a pretty red powder. This red powder is used a dye for things. It is also recognized by the World Health Organization to cause allergic reactions and asthma in humans. Starbucks is trying to get away from using artificial colors and ingredients in their beverages...so instead they give you insects in their coffee?? I will take my FD&C Red Number 5 over some poison covered beetle any day!<br />
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For those of you who feel the need to drink your 5 dollar coffees because they come in a fancy cup with your name written on it....knock yourselves out. For this guy, this is just one more check in the column of Dunkin Donuts. Carry on, my wayward children. Until next time...Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty Dog<br />
<br />Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-24400741114308662282012-02-13T11:03:00.001-05:002012-02-13T11:03:36.973-05:00People Are PeopleWelcome back faithful few! I am sorry to disappoint, but I am not here today with a tirade. I was just cleaning around my computer room and I saw a picture of some friends and myself in front of the Naro Theater in Ghent. The majority of you reading have no idea what the Naro is, nor where in the hell Ghent is. Let me explain a little bit...The Naro Theater is a one screen movie theater with a stage and balcony. The performing group "Fishnet Inc." does a live rendition of the Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Naro 2-3 times a month. This is where the picture was taken.<br />
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When I look at the guys in this picture, it makes me think of the melting pot of friends and acquaintances I have come to acquire. One of them is gay, one of them weighs over 300 pounds, and one of them is a hillbilly. Now, if I were to further expand my collection of friends I would see that I have both gay and lesbian friends, Christian and Satanist friends, black and white friends, overweight and nearly anorexic friends, and old and young friends. I look back to high school...I had friends that were jocks, heads, preps, band geeks, nerds, closeted gays (it isn't like they could just be "out" in the late 80s in high school), and all other subclasses. This blog is for all of them (hell, there are many of those categories that I fall in as well....Satanist, overweight, geek, jock) and for me as well.<br />
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If you wear a XXL t-shirt or bigger, you are looked at like there is something wrong with you. If you believe that Jesus was something more than a character in a book (like Moby Dick) there are people who ridicule you. If you don't believe in Jesus at all, you are laughed at. If you are a guy that is attracted to other guys or a girl that is attracted to other girls you are called names, or beaten, and not afforded the rights of your heterosexual counterparts. If you speak with a Southern accent you are considered a redneck. If you speak with a Northern accent, you are considered a dumb Yankee. When we become adults, we find ways to deal with all of these issues. We shrug them off, we protest against the treatment, we hole up in our homes and shun the outside world...the list goes on.<br />
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In general, I could care less what people think about me. Let me qualify that statement. I don't care what people (who are not friends or family) think about me.I have told you all before that my friends and family are my life. I will do whatever I can to help them and keep them happy. Ignorant outsiders, I could give a shit. People that have issues with my friends (or me) for the way that they choose to live their life, or how they were born, or the things that they like (or don't like) drive me insane. I am not here to give them any of my time....I am here to tell my friends and family... The world will tell you who you are...until the point comes where you tell them.<br />
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I guess that is all I came here to say today. Just letting you all know that I am here, and I have heard you all when you have shown me your true colors. I accept all of you for who you are, just as you all accept me. Don't waste your time listening to the nay sayers...(just this here nay nay sayer). Don't let them tell you who you are....you tell them! Until next time...Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-83582593993389735522012-01-31T12:35:00.001-05:002012-01-31T12:35:06.246-05:00Flush, You Will<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Welcome back faithful few! Hope your New Year has been going well, since it will be your last! That is if you believe in all of that 2012 garbage. For the rest of us...Happy Tuesday. What is it that brings me to you fine people today? Is it I cannot believe that the Republican candidate choices are a guy named Newt and another one named Mitt? Is it that I need you to sign a petition to get BJ and the Bear on Netflix? Is it that you got your chocolate in my peanut butter? Nay nay...I am here to ask what happened to public bathrooms.<br />
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Back in the day (which we all know was a Wednesday) a guy could go to a store or restaurant and use the bathroom. You walked in, did your business, flushed the toilet, turned on the hot water (because cold wouldn't get off whatever diseases were on the handles) then turn the paper towel roller twenty times to get a sheet of paper grocery bags to dry with. If, for some strange reason you had to do it, you used the crapper, you had that fancy piece of wax paper that was the shape of the toilet bowl seat. The one with the center piece that hung down in the water. When you completed that evolution, the process was the same; flush, wash, grocery bags. Try to find this setup now!<br />
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When entering the bathroom at one of the local eateries here, I sat down to give back the lunch that I had rented. Half way through my evolution, the toilet flushed! I guess I had reached the bowl's limit. In doing so, the water not only sprayed all over my arse, but shot up out of the toilet between my legs. While this is mildly disgusting, I continued my evolution. Upon completion, I turned to flush the toilet, but it flushed before I could even stand upright...again a tidal wave of shitter water. After leaving the commode, I went to wash my hands (and possibly the backs of my thighs) but there were no knobs on the sink. Most of you are thinking...well why don't you just put your hands under it and wait for the water? I know, right? That is exactly what I did...but no water. I was running my hands back and forth like I was DJ Jazzy Jeff on the ones and twos...to no avail. I could only assume that this was a special Jedi bathroom...and my midichlorion levels were very low that day.<br />
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Being the smart guy that I am, I checked the water valve and lo and behold...it was turned off. Was there a motion sensor that made the valve turn on? Nay nay..plain old, tried and true knob. I turn the water on that proceed to wet my hands. I then look for the soap dispenser. It is hanging on the wall, but there is no button to push to get soap. I waved my hand beneath it and told it these weren't the hands he was looking for. Magically, the soap appeared in my hands. By this time, the water had stopped running, so I had to coax the water back out of the faucet. Finally, time to get some paper bags to dry my hands with...same thing, stupid motion sensor. So instead of a sheet or two to dry with, I am greeted by 4 feet of brown grocery bag. I reach up to pull it off and another 4 feet shoots out! I finally exit the bathroom (although this time, there was no sensor to open the door for me) and continue with my day.<br />
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I am all for modernization. Work smarter, not harder. But when it comes to dropping the kids off at the pool...taking the Browns to the Super Bowl...releasing the chocolate hostages...whatever you want to call it.....we all learned the procedure looooong ago. Stop screwing with simple things and get me my flying car from the Jetsons already! Until next time....Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-38232178338707993012012-01-06T22:47:00.001-05:002012-01-06T22:47:46.856-05:00Douche in a Toque<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Welcome back loyal readers! Let us start the new year off with a bang! Let me first say that I am a PC guy, but I do own an iPod and an iPhone. I am not a Microsoft whore, nor am I an Apple enthusiast, I judge each device on what it can do for me. I am not brand prejudice in many things, but I am a Verizon loyalist. Why do you care about any of this? Is it because I am the definition of cool and you want to be like me? Is it because I am a known trendsetter and you want to keep up with the latest and greatest? Is it because I am a pretentious prick that wants everyone to know everything about me? Nay nay... It is because I am once again about to complain, and I don't want you to think I have an ax to grind with my brand's competitors. So where does this bring us?<br />
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I bought an iPhone when Verizon made them available back in February of last year (no, really, there was no Killers reference intended there). Last month the earpiece decided to stop working. I don't know if it was sympathizing with the NBA owners, or what...but I did know that it didn't work. I got tired of using my speaker phone for every conversation, so I took the phone to Verizon (since it was under warranty still). After having to "sign in" at the Verizon store and wait 10 minutes (no one else was in the store) I explain what happened to my phone. They proceed to tell me that they are not authorized to do anything with the iPhone except sell it. Apple has to handle all problems directly. I am informed that I must go to the Apple store in Norfolk. Okay, no worries...it is off to the Apple store!<br />
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I drive to the Apple store (in the uppity people's mall) and walk in the door to a store LOADED with people. This is on a Friday afternoon around 2:00. I am greeted by a guy wearing a red shirt, khaki shorts, and sandals. This is odd since it was December 30th and about 38 degrees outside. Anyway... the guy tells me that I have to make an appointment because they are overloaded at the current time. I assume that we will be going to a desk with a computer (since that is all that is in this store is desks full of computers) so he can make me an appointment. But nay nay...I am told to download the Apple Store App from...wait for it...the App Store! I download the app and set myself an appointment for Tuesday morning at 10:00. There was nothing available before then.<br />
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Tuesday morning, I arrive at the uppity people's mall and "check in" for my appointment with the Apple Store app. While waiting, I see that the only people in the store are 80 year old grandparents sitting in a semicircle being taught how to use the new iPads they were given for Christmas. I am then sent a message to my phone alerting me that "Dan" is ready to help me at the Genius Bar. I walk up to the Genius Bar (which is a desk with a giant Mac on it) and ask for Dan, since he is ready to help me. Leslie tells me that she is not sure that Dan is working today. I begin to question the naming of this bar as irony. Finally, Dan comes walking out with his iPad in hand and scrolls through to find my name. Dan is wearing a red shirt, khaki shorts, sandals, and a toque! As I look around the rest of the store, I notice everyone is wearing toques! Dan asks what the problem is, I tell him that the earpiece no longer works. He says he has to take the phone in the back and determine if it is a software or hardware issue. I explain to him that I have done all of the troubleshooting, and it is a hardware issue. He then takes my phone in the back for 15 minutes. I can only assume that the Geniuses gathered round and held a quickening to determine my problem. He returns to tell me that it is a hardware issue! Really, douche in a toque? I told you that 15 minutes ago!<br />
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Dan then tells me that he will replace my phone on the spot...score one point for the Geniuses... too bad they are down 6-0 by this point. He pulls out the new phone and tells me that I have to connect it to one of the 500 computers in the store and log in to my Verizon account to activate it. I activate the phone without issue. He then tells me that I should log in to the Apple Store hotspot so that I can restore my phone settings. At this point, he asks if we are done. I tell him nay nay...I am not leaving until my phone is ready to use. I restore my phone and he asks again if we are finished, I say nay nay, douche in a toque, I need to make a phone call to ensure the earpiece works. I finally complete the visit and am asked to sign a receipt for the new phone. Is this pen and paper? Is this one of those credit card machines with a fake pen? Nay nay...it is his damned iPad and I am supposed to sign my name with my finger! I complete this, with way too much effort, and tell him I have a question for him. Where are your socks? He replies that it would be silly to wear socks with sandals...yet he does not think it silly to wear a toque with shorts IN THE MALL!<br />
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After much study and contemplation, I can only assume that Starbucks and Apple train their employees together so that they can be sent to either establishment. Pretentious Fuck University rolls them out qualified not only as Italian Bartenders, but as GENIUSES as well! Needless to say, this is one more establishment that I will avoid like the plague. So if you all have hours to kill, and are looking for the latest styles in toque fashion, please feel free to roll into the Apple store. If you have a problem with your iPhone, suck it up and pay the insurance deductible just to save your sanity! Until next time....Stay Salty!<br />
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-Salty Dog<br />Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-77732931810994690082011-12-12T11:53:00.000-05:002011-12-12T11:53:20.055-05:00You're A Mean One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all. Welcome back to this wonderful mess that is my thoughts on the screen. It is December, and the "holiday season" is in full swing. I don't say "holiday season" because I have a problem with saying Christmas, it is just that there are so many holidays in December. Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, my birthday....yeah, I know I am the only one to celebrate that last one, but it is still a holiday to me. So what brings me here today? Is it to talk about how much I hate Lil Wayne? Is it to discuss how awesome the Bob's Boneyard Podcast is? Is it to recommend Human Boom Boxes for Christmas presents? (you know, it's that thing where you put a midget on your shoulder and make him sing gangsta rap) Nay nay...what brings me here is the holiday season...and my hatred for it.<br />
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You tell someone that you hate Halloween, the 4th of July, or Arbor Day and no one blinks an eye. You tell them that you don't like Christmas and you may as well have just dropped a Cleveland Steamer on their chest! Let me start by saying that I love giving presents. I love seeing the happiness on people's faces when I give them a gift that they were not expecting. I also enjoy receiving presents..but who doesn't? What I don't like is that Christmas begins as soon as Halloween is over, and doesn't end until the New Year. I have no affinity for the Zombie Jebus, neither baby or adult. I don't like people. There is no qualifying statement there, I just don't like people. And when you put thousands of them in the store at the same time, I am ready to kill them. I also hate twice a year religious people. Easter and Christmas bring out all the fair weather religious nuts. People who could give two shits about any religion during the year feel the need to profess their love for Jebus and how they are upset that his birthday (or so some claim is his birthday) has been turned into a commercial holiday.<br />
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What else don't I like, you might ask? I don't like Christmas music. Too much of it seems contrived, especially any made after the 1970s. There are a few select songs that I enjoy; The Twelve Days of Christmas by Bob and Doug McKenzie <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2oPio60mK4">Watch it Here</a> I also like the theme to The Grinch. Aside from that, they are few and far between. I don't want to hear Christina Aguilera singing anything, let alone butchering Christmas songs. I don't like Holiday movies and television specials either. I don't want to see Menorah the Explorer (very special Chanukah edition), I don't want to see A Fish Called Kwanzaa, I only want the claymation classics. Rudolph, Frosty, Jack Frost, and the like..How The Grinch Stole Christmas, and Charlie Brown's Christmas. These are not acceptable for any reason except they remind me of my youth. <br />
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I also don't like decorating anything. My job is to put up the Christmas tree and run the lights. I am not expected to decorate it at all. I like watching the wife and kids decorate because it makes them happy. And them being happy makes me happy. I am not Ebenezer Scrooge, I don't get upset with others for enjoying the Christmas holiday. I also don't need this "season" to tell me to be kind to my fellow man. I am who I am year round. I don't get nicer around the holidays, I don't blow people off for the rest of the year either. If I pass someone on the sidewalk I say hello, or how you doin? If someone is entering a store around the same time as me, I will step aside and hold the door so that they can go first. I don't need the month of December to make me do these things.<br />
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Growing up with a birthday that is 10 days before Christmas may have soured me on the holiday because my birthday was always lumped in with it, I don't know. I don't spoil anyone else's holiday by being a curmudgeon, but I just don't like the season. So for all of you that genuinely enjoy Christmas....please continue to do so. For those that take the "good will toward men" thing and forget about it come New Year's Day..knock yourself out. When it is June 22 and I am still asking people how they are, and holding doors for old folks while you are cutting those same elderly off because they are too slow and holding you up....ask yourself, honestly, is it that I have no Christmas spirit? Or do I have it all year long and have no need for the month of December and its forced happiness? Enjoy your holidays, whichever one you celebrate, and until next time....Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-16014605533587571372011-11-15T20:29:00.001-05:002011-11-16T08:57:08.074-05:00Out of State, Out of MindWelcome back everyone. I apologize for my hiatus, but I have been busy with my school work. Today, however, I have reason to write! What is it that could be so important to take me away from my school work? Is it my master plan to Occupy Hip Hop? Is it the overwhelming urge to plug Bob's Boneyard (the greatest podcast in the world today)? Is it that I just found out what actually goes into a Nathan's Hot Dog? Nay nay...<br />
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Virginia is very predictable when it comes to government. They want everything to happen on your birthday. That being said, my 40th birthday is next month so I have some things that are due for renewal. One of those things is my driver's license. So yesterday morning at 9:15, I stroll into my local DMV to renew my driver's license. Everyone knows that the DMV is not the happiest place on Earth (that would be Mooby's), but I am prepared for a long wait. I fill out my required paperwork and start the waiting game. My number is B30 and they are on B6. 45 minutes later, they call my number. I felt like screaming Bingo, but I held back. I get to the window,take my eye test, pay my fee, take my picture, and wait for my license. Next thing I know, I am being refunded my fee and told that I am not eligible to renew my license. Based on the results of the National Data Registry, New York AND Connecticut have put a "stop" on my record. I am told that I have to contact the DMV in NY and CT if I want my VA license.<br />
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I drive home and get on the phone at 10:30 with the great State of New York's DMV in Albany. The next hour and 20 minutes were spent trying to get a human on the phone to find out what the hell was going on. I finally get an upstate New Yorker on the phone (upstate translates into Southern Canadian). She takes my information and tells me that Connecticut had sent them notice of a DUI conviction in my name in 1994. In order to straighten this mess out and have my name removed from the list, I would have to call Connecticut. So I call Connecticut. 1 hour and 40 minutes before I reach a human this time. CT DMV tells me that there is a Jamie Robinson, same birthday, California license....wait...California? Is this now a fourth state I am going to have to deal with? Nay nay. The kind people of Connecticut removed this mark from my record because I simply told them (in my best Eddie Murphy voice) "Wasn't me." I told them I had never had a CA license, only a NY and VA and all was well.<br />
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I am now cleared by Connecticut for whatever it is I was supposed to have done. So I asked them to contact NY, since the problem NY has with me is that CT said I had a DUI! So they said "nay nay, Mr. Robinson." (no they didn't, but it would have been cool). They said no, I had to contact NY myself and tell them that CT cleared me. So I call NY DMV in Albany once again...I get to talk to a human in a record setting 10 minutes this time! My luck is changing, right? Nay nay. I get to talk to Rosalita in Records (the alliteration just made me laugh), and she tells me that I indeed have a DUI notification on my record from the state of CT. She also sees that on the National Data Registry, CT has removed the stop on my record. Sweet, now will Rosalita take the stop off of my NY record too? Nay nay...Rosalita is just the person that tells me what is on my record. In order to plead my case and make any changes, I have to talk to Driver Improvement. Cool, can you connect me? Sure, but they won't be there...they are only open from 8am until noon. So I have to call back again this morning.<br />
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I have no moral to this story, no happy ending, just the disgruntled rantings of an old man. I know the DMV has always been a fun place for everyone, so I figured I would share an experience that you all could relate to. Hopefully you never have to deal with Rosalita or her counterparts to get you license renewed....4 states away! Until next time....Stay Salty.<br />
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Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-24281475629455151642011-10-04T14:57:00.000-04:002011-10-04T14:57:16.929-04:00Starbucks Round Two!Welcome back all....they have done it again! Starbucks has gone and pissed me off. Has your friend and humble narrator made a return trip to the den of iniquity? Nay nay. But somehow, they have managed to enter my line of sight...and once again set me off.<br />
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Everyone knows that Starbucks coffee costs about four dollars a cup. This number could be much higher, depending on your menu choice. The cost of a cup of coffee at your local 7-Eleven is approximately 1.25. Am I back to discuss how wrong it is for Starbucks to charge such outrageous fees for caffeine? Nay nay...I am here to discuss how wrong it is for Starbucks to charge you 5 bucks for a cup of coffee...and THEN have the nerve to ask you to donate "at least five dollars" to the "Jobs for USA" program that they are sponsoring.<br />
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Starbucks is a multi-billion dollar company that sells....coffee. If their crafty use of Italian bartenders and foreign language to confuse the average American isn't bad enough, now they want you to give them "extra" money. I am not saying that this "Jobs for USA" program isn't a good idea, but who wants to walk out of Starbucks with a cup of coffee and ten less dollars in their pocket? This is not the place that should be asking people for more money. How about you take some of the money that you make off of that one dollar cup of coffee that you are overcharging by 400% and give THAT to your program? How about selling coffee for your normal price, and giving some of your profit away?<br />
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I hear that they are offering up 5 million dollars to start this program. According to blah blah blah website, (it is obviously not important) Starbucks sells 8,200,000 cups of coffee each day. That is approximately 32 million dollars PER DAY! And you are telling me that to make the people of the world feel better, you are donating 5 million dollars? That would be the same as me donating a penny and trying to get people to donate 5 dollars every time they walked through the door at my store.<br />
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Quit trying to make yourself look good Starbucks. Stop trying to get even MORE people into your bars to throw their money away as you want them to. If I want coffee I will go to 7-Eleven, if I want pastries I will go to Dunkin Donuts, if I want some douche bag CD I will go to WalMart, if I want to donate money to a good cause, I will do that too. I don't need you trying to pull at patriotic heart strings to essentially sell more overpriced coffee! Until next time...Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-17976023718663983572011-09-27T14:32:00.001-04:002011-09-27T14:33:13.413-04:00Fat America<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Welcome back true believers! It has been awhile, but I have found inspiration in the latest Activision video game release. Let me first state that I am all for video games. Hell, gamers cracked the protein strain for AIDS for Pete's sake! Modern Warfare is actually one of my favorite games to play, and with MW3 on the way I know I am going to log some major hours.<br />
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Being a fan of video games, and MW specifically, what brings my fingers to keys? The upcoming November 8th release of MW3 has now been pushed in to overdrive. Activision has partnered with PepsiCo in a plot to make gamers fatter and more sedentary than they have ever been. The partners announced today that they will offer double experience points in 15, 45, and 90 minute increments to people who buy 20oz bottles, 12 packs, or Evil Empire exclusive 20 packs of Mountain Dew. Bonuses will be awarded for buying Mountain Dew and Doritos "combo packs". Hey, how about giving people MORE reason to sit on their ass for longer periods of time?<br />
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Modern Warfare 3 is one of the most anticipated games of this year, and people are going to spend MANY hours in front of their televisions building up their experience points. Why not spend that time eating bags of Doritos and slugging bottles of Mountain Dew? Why not join forces with Smith and Wesson and give experience points for the purchase of firearms that are in the game? It isn't like anyone would get off their fat ass and go use it...it has to be safe, right? Why stop there? Let's give out bonuses on marshmallow packages for the Ghostbusters game. Let's make America fatter and lazier than they have ever been before! <br />
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Product placement in movies and video games is obviously not enough anymore. Now we need to convince Fat America that the more they eat and drink crappy foods and beverages, the better they will be at video games? I say nay nay...I am calling for a boycott of Doritos and Mountain Dew until this craziness is over. I am not asking anyone to eat healthier, I know that is a crazy thought... just switch brands for a few months. Drink Mello Yellow and eat Bravos for awhile, give the competitors a chance. Oh, and for all the gamers reading this...earn your XP the old fashioned way..play the game like the rest of us! Until next time kids...Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty Dog<br />
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Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-38633931908899465632011-09-09T22:13:00.000-04:002011-09-09T22:13:50.578-04:00DeAndre WayOn July 28, 1990 just days before Iraqi troops invaded Kuwait, DeAndre Way was born. "What in the hell is a DeAndre Way?", you ask? Many of you know him as Soulja Boy. If you still don't know who I am talking about, you are better off. Am I hear to tell you about Soulja Boy and all of his wonderful talent? Nay nay...<br />
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Many, if not all of you, know that I served 20 years in the United States Navy. I have friends in all services. I have friends that served in wars nastier than Desert Storm and OIF combined. Whether you served 2 years or 20 years, you went out there and fought for your friends and family back home. Hell, you fought for people that you never met, nor would you ever meet! Why did you do it? Why did I do it? Because it needed to be done. I don't knock anyone for not serving in the military. It isn't for everyone, and I get that. What I won't stand for is a no talent hack (DeAndre) coming out in his internet released song "Let's Be Real" and saying...and I quote "Fuck the FBI and the Army troops, fighting for what?, be your own man...."<br />
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This little bitch wants to act like he is some badass and take on Ice-T, to say that Nas killed hip hop, to be defended by King Auto Tune Kanye...and to now bash the military? Who in the hell does he think he is? Is this the only way he can get publicity? This skidmark on the underwear of humanity has four albums...did any of you know that? I didn't think so. No one else knows it either. What America does know? 6207 military members gave their lives during OIF/OEF to protect his bitch ass. Too bad those military members couldn't "be their own man", eh? I can't believe that I am even mentioning this asshole's name! Reports are that he apologized for saying these things....I don't care. If I ever come within arms reach of this punk, I will show him what "hood" is!<br />
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For those of you who don't believe that such a talented artist would say such things, here is the video link <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANeWYnArWXk&feature=related">HERE</a>. Right around the 40 second mark (if you can make it that far without laughing him off of your computer) you will hear the line. I know that none of you are in his target audience of 14 year old girls, but listen up to that part. I love hip hop music, I have since it began, but this mother fucker is why I can't listen anymore. He, and others like him are destroying hip hop. When things go bad in Gotham they send up the Bat Signal...someone please create a KRS-One Signal so that he can come and save hip hop from no talent hacks like this one. Until next time...Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty DogSalty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352967798006898769.post-10663650080589492662011-08-18T13:09:00.001-04:002011-08-18T13:11:54.041-04:00Nuckin Futs!Alright you religious screw heads, listen up! While I did not grow up in a bible thumping household, I was subject to having my ass beat when I did something wrong. That was not a religious thing, it was a parenting thing. I was spanked with a hand, a wooden spoon, and on rare occasion, a belt. These were punishments doled out when it was the only way I would understand. They were corrective actions so that I would associate pain with doing whatever it was that I had done. I had a red ass, and it burned for a few hours, but that was it. I never bruised, I never had broken bones, and there was never tissue damage.<br />
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Michael and Debi Pearl have written a book and it has sold 660,000 copies (and is on the rise). The name of this book is "To Train Up A Child". Please don't go look for the book, don't buy the book, don't talk about the book. The fact that I acknowledged its existence is bad enough, I just wanted you to know where this is coming from. The book teaches parents that if you can train horse, and you can train a dog, you can also train a child. The methods are nothing less than barbaric, and they use their interpretation of the bible as a guideline for religious nut bags to follow. Hey, if it's in the bible, it must be right! They say (in an interview) that a boy of 7 who hits his sister needs to be beaten 10-15 times with a wooden spoon, a belt, or a piece of plastic plumbing tube. Why? So he knows that beating someone is wrong. So we correct him by beating him? How does that show him that violence is wrong? My youngest son is 7 years old, and I would never even CONSIDER spanking him with anything but my hand.<br />
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Where am I going with all of this? Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz of Paradise, California decided that they believed in the Pearl's teachings and beat their 7 year old adopted daughter to death with a piece of plastic plumbing tube 15 inches long. The couple beat their children regularly....why? Because god wanted them to. Spare the rod; spoil the child. Use the rod; kill the child. I see the similarities, I guess. I refuse to give these wastes of life any more press than they are going to get already, but I want you all to watch Anderson Cooper (not just cuz he is a sexy man) <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrjX55KF3ZQ&feature=player_embedded">HERE</a>. THIS is one of the reasons that I have problem with religion. I know not everyone is like this, but there are 660,000+ copies of that book out there....there has to be more than just the Schatz's that believe this shit.<br />
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I know a lot of you come here for the comedy, or a break from reality....but sometimes reality is what needs to take center stage. This couple had 9 kids...I hope those kids find good families to go to because their parents are going to jail for a long time! I honestly hope that they are both beaten daily during their 12-25 year prison terms. Until next time...Stay Salty.<br />
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-Salty Dog<br />
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<br />Salty Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12006902158057955439noreply@blogger.com0