P.D.D.F.L

Welcome back true believers. It has been a long week for me...a lot of school work, baseball, yard work, and new episodes of Bob's Boneyard ! (there is a link there for a reason...go check it out and download the podcast on iTunes). Enough promotion...who am I; Don King? Dana White? Puff Diddy Daddy Farty Licky? Oh yes....there it is. P.D.D.F.L. You have all been wondering what the hell the title of today's blog meant, and now you know!

Sean John Combs. Intern for Uptown Records, climbs his way to Executive at Uptown...then is fired from the same company. Uptown Records brought you the likes of Guy, Heavy D, Mary J Blige, Jodeci, and Al B Sure. Sean was a super producer (like Herbie Luv Bug) that went by the name of Puff Daddy. Puff Daddy...pretty cool name for a hip hop/ r&b producer. We all grew to love Puff Daddy as a producer. But then he decided (with Bad Boy) that he wanted to come out from behind the board and get on the microphone and say "uh, uh" and "Bad Boy" every 12 seconds on every track his artists put down. He was often referred to as Puffy or Puff...that is alright, it is just a shortening of his chosen name.

Next, out of nowhere, he became P. Diddy. P. Diddy was shortened to "Diddy" and I guess that is alright. Then he wanted to be known as Sean Diddy Combs. Let's not mention that he used Biggy Smalls' death as a launch point for his "rapping" career. I use the term "rapping" very loosely, because he is straight up garbage when you put a microphone in his hand. (See earlier notes on "Bad Boy" and "Uh, uh").

P.D.D.F.L has become a pretentious prick over the years. I take nothing away from his talent as a producer, hell..I wish he would go back to producing! He came to town a few weeks ago, and my friend Alfredo Torres had the "honor" of working his show. He said that his rider was full of stuff and he didn't touch any of it. He just wanted to know that they would get it for him because he was P.D.D.F.L. The fact that he has two restaurants, two clothing lines, a movie production company, and Bad Boy proves he knows how to make money. He was estimated at 475 million dollars net worth this year! What it doesn't prove is that he has any actual talent aside from changing his name.

Speaking of changing his name...that is what brought me here today! Apparently, he is making a comeback. I am not sure where he is coming back from, or what he is coming back to...but he is coming back. And in "honor" of his comeback, he is changing his name yet again! But he is only changing it for one week. That seems like a short comeback to me. He has decided that we can all call him "Swag" for the week. I am told that this is short for the term Swagger, which is "how one presents himself to the world". I always knew Swag to mean "Stuff We All Get". Yet no matter how hard I try, I just don't get this guy. So we are allowed...nay..encouraged...nay nay...expected to call Sean John Combs "Swag" for one week, and one week only! He should take a page out of Chad Johnson's play book...changed his name to Chad Ochocinco until even he realized how stupid that sounded. So he reverted back to his given name.

This guy is such a prick. I can't stand his attempts at rap, I hate that he has 5 kids (and is the unofficial step father to Al B Sure's child), I hate that he has a movie production company (maybe so he can get himself into films that no one would ever cast him in). He is just an overall douche! So I refuse to call him Swag for a week...if anything, I would call him "Douche Swag". Hey Sean, either go back to producing mega hits, or go join your meal ticket Biggy Smalls. Either way...get off the microphone and stop changing your friggin name! I can see his tombstone now... Here Lies Sean "Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Puffy, Diddy, Douche Swag" John Combs. Fuck a comeback, how about doing a goback? Go back to producing! Until next time boys and girls...Stay Salty.

-Salty Dog