Welcome back true believers. As our ride takes us on a journey not only of sight and sound, but of mind. We are not following Rod Serling into the Twilight Zone, but we are going to reach for the Outer Limits.
As we all remember growing up, we had nine planets. For those that don't remember... Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Pluto was discovered and designated as our ninth planet in 1930. 75 years later, a group of overly intelligent men and women got together and decided to change the definition of the word "Planet". It is a sad day in America when a GROUP of people have nothing better to do than change the definition of the word planet. I could see one lonely smart guy with nothing to do on a Friday night except watch reruns of Nova, but a group of people that had nothing else going on so they needed to change the meaning of words. And how smart do you have to be before someone takes you seriously enough to accept the fact that you changed the definition of a word? I could decide to change the meaning of the word "Midget" to mean "anyone under the height of 5'8" tall". Wouldn't the Wizard of Oz remake look a little different then? Nay nay, because no one would accept the fact that just because I said the definition changed, that it actually changed.
So, you are a fly on the wall in the big white room when these brainiacs are deciding what makes a planet...well, a planet. Big brain guy number one says, "Mars... you're big, you're red, you're rockin it pretty hard...good job, you get to stay a planet." "Venus, you look kinda like us, so you have to stay or we have to go with you...you get to stick around." "Saturn...like what you do with the rings. Keep on, keepin on." "Uranus....stop laughing and grow up. It isn't funny anymore. We get it...Your Anus...ha ha. If you can mature a little, you can stay." "Pluto...anyone seen Pluto? Oh, there you are in the back...as usual. You know what Pluto? This just isn't working out. Turn in your keys and leave the solar system. No no...just go, let's not make this awkward."
Who in the blue hell do these people think they are that they can just fire a planet? That is some ego. Do they realize that Pluto was named after the Roman god of the underworld? This is not the guy that you want to piss off. Yeah, yeah, he is also Mickey Mouse's big, happy dog..I know. Do you want to be the one to wonder which one is going to come after you? Big wet kisses from a dog or hellfire and brimstone from the depths of Hades...hmmm.
Anyway....Planets (whatever that means these days) we need 9, not 8 and a dwarf. If you grew up with nine planets, let me hear you loud and proud, "Every child of mine, will know that the planets total nine!" Until next time true believers...Stay Salty!
-Salty Dog
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Alright Boats, you know I'm 100% with you on this one. I am, however, a little surprised at your surprise that a group of people sat around discussing this. Remember that this took place during the time when a President of the United States decided it was time that congress amended the Constitution to reflect that marriage is defined as the union between one woman and one man. The same President who stated that "ninety percent of American imports come from other countries."
ReplyDeleteSo again - really? You're surprised? REALLY?!