Whatever Happened To Predictability?

The milkman, the paperboy, and evening TV.....welcome back true believers! I apologize for my recent absence to the two or three of you that read this regularly. I have been taking care of some things around the house of late and neglecting my ranting...I mean writing. What brings me back to the keyboard this time? Something that has been bothering me for a few years, but only recently become a major source of irritation.

I was listening to my favorite radio program (wow, doesn't that make me sound old???) this morning. That would be the very popular Mike and Bob Show on 96X (www.96x.fm for those that would like to listen from 0600-0900 Monday through Friday). Anyway...Mike and Bob were giving away tickets for something or other, and in order to win said tickets you had to win an on air game. The game they were playing today was Television Theme Song Name That Tune. This is when I knew that I had to write.

While watching your television tonight, I want you to pick a show...any show...and sing the theme song. You can't do it? Is it because you are getting old and your memory is failing you? I say, "Nay, nay". The thing is, there ARE no theme songs to television shows anymore. I remember growing up and watching shows with great theme songs. Songs so good that they were played on the radio! Believe it or Not (from the Greatest American Hero) by Mike Post happens to reside in my 45 collection. (For all of you younger readers, the collection refers to a small piece of vinyl that plays music when rotated at 45 RPM). I knew the words to every theme song from every show that I watched, and recognized hundreds more! When I heard "In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit..." I knew it was time for the A-Team. "Hey where ya goin, not exactly knowin, who says you have to call just one place home..." BJ and the Bear was coming on! Cheers, MASH, Diff'rent Strokes, The Facts of Life, all the great shows of our past had quality theme songs that you could sing along to (assuming you knew the words to Suicide Is Painless).

The shows of today have no theme songs. Take the very popular "Glee"...a show all about singing. What is it's theme song? One word...GLEE! Law and Order...another hugely popular series...what do they have? Dum Dum! (no, not the little lolly pops). There are some very good shows out there today that I can only assume will fail miserably due to the fact that they have no theme song. I am not only here to complain, I am here to take a poll. What is your favorite all time theme song from a television show? As your friend and humble narrator, I will go first. Hands down, no questions asked..my favorite theme song of all time has to be The Jeffersons. To this day, anytime someone mentions "moving up" I have to follow with "to the East side. To a de-luxe apartment in the skyyyy".

Long gone are the songs that take up the first one to three minutes of a television show. Bring on more commercial breaks instead. I am thinking of sending this blog to some of the networks and asking them why? Why have they taken away my favorite part of television in the interest of more advertising? Then again, I guess I need to look no further than my favorite music producer, and least favorite rapper Puff Diddy Daddy Farty Licky for the answer....it's all about the benjamins baby. Until next time...Stay Salty.

-Salty Dog