Pope Okays Condoms.....

Welcome back true believers! I know what most of you are thinking..."Salty is commenting on the POPE?" Yes indeed...but stand by for heavy rolls, because this isn't a puff piece ladies and gentlemen. As many of you religious folk may know...the Vatican has set very strict rules when it comes to birth control. There will be none! That is as vehement a statement as I have ever heard, well next to New Hampshire's license plates sounding like a Bruce Willis sequel. As you also know...the Church condemns homosexuality. Now now now...why would I have to bring that into the equation? Follow the bouncing ball kiddies...this gets fun.

Did Darth Sidius (the Pope) finally come around and say that it was okay for married couples to use condoms as a form of birth control because we have waaaay too many babies being born? Did he say it was okay for married couples to use them when one partner was infected with AIDS? Nay nay...he said the Church was lifting the restrictions on condom use for...wait for it...male prostitutes! Male prostitutes...that serve other males...people that are defined by "the Church" as "intrinsically disordered" are now authorized to use condoms during sex to promote moral responsibility. I didn't think that alter boys could get pregnant...but I digress.

So now, every church and its people are trying to back pedal and cover Darth Sidius' tracks, saying that it must be some kind of language barrier (him being German and all) just like when he lifted the excommunication of a holocaust denier. Hmmmm...German Pope taking care of someone who believes that the holocaust never happened? Never! So the holocaust never happened, gay people have some intrinsic disorder, male prostitutes need to use condoms to stop the spread of AIDS in the gay community because it is "morally responsible", and altar boys can't get pregnant. Think I covered it all?

Many of you know my religious views are inverted at best, but one question needs to be answered by all of you.....where did they find this guy? The Church has a lot of questions to answer, and maybe some of you do to. How does someone follow a man who takes his direction from a 2000 year old book? Would you follow the directions of a 2000 year old cook book today? I say nay nay...because times have changed, methods have changed, people have changed. It's time to change people! Until next time...Stay Salty.

Kill Your Friends....It's In The Game!

Welcome back true believers! Sorry I have been away from my keyboard for so long, but I have been busy with physical therapy, little league, and trying to retire from the Navy. Not trying to make excuses, just filling you in. I posted in an earlier blog about video games, and how they are trying to make new games to ruin the world we live in. Some of you may think that means Call of Duty, God of War, or some other violent game. I say....wait for it...nay nay. This blog title is based on a popular slogan by EA Sports, the creators of Madden football games.

I have played MANY video games in my almost 39 years on this dust ball we call Earth. I have played just about every console ever created, every handheld that has passed by, and multiple computer games. I have played alone, with friends, online with strangers. It is safe to say that I love video games. One of the most popular game franchises ever is the Madden football series. 1989 saw the invention of John Madden Football for the Apple II (yeah, I said it..don't act like you don't remember the massive computing power of the Apple II!!) The first console version (and the version that made it a top-selling franchise) for the Sega Genesis followed in 1990 with a Super Nintendo version available a year later (Sega was always ahead of the SNES for some reason). EA Sports has released annual updates for all versions since 1991's John Madden Football '92. The series gained full NFL licensing and became known as Madden NFL with 1993's Madden NFL '94; NFL players licenses came two years later. The game's total franchise sales surpass 51 million worldwide, most of it in the U.S.

Okay, enough about Madden game history. If you don't know about this game from your own experience, I am sure that your kids have brought it to your attention over the years. I am not here to try to sway your opinion on Madden football. I am here to tell you about the stupidity of some people. I know..surprise, Salty Dog is going off about stupidity. After all of the hours I have spent playing video games with my friends (yes, Bill and Terence, I am mostly talking about you) I have never gotten into a physical altercation over a game. I have thrown controllers because I did something dumb, or the computer player on my team was walking around in circles instead of assisting me, or whatever the reason was at the time. I have cursed the screen, I have called my friends all kinds of names because they were beating me....you see how this goes. These are natural reactions for a rational human being.

Now let me take you to Wichita, Kansas...According to police, on Thursday night, four "friends" were chilling out and playing Madden on the PlayStation 3 when a fight broke out. When the dust settled, Luke German, 22, was dead on the front lawn, and his three friends were wanted by police. German died of "severe internal injuries" consistent with being kicked, punched and perhaps struck by a pipe. He was taken to a hospital, but died shortly thereafter. Is this a case of "When video games go bad"? Or is this more a case of stupid kids that have been coddled all their life and don't know how to lose? These kids killed their "friend" because they believe that he cheated in a video game.

Kids today need to walk away from the television. Put the video games down. Get off of the computer. Interact with people on a regular basis, play sports, join clubs, start a band...whatever! Take Playstation's old motto "Live in your world. Play in ours." The fact that people cannot separate the real world from the video game world tells me that our society is going straight in the shitter. These people are not mentally ill, they are not criminally insane, they are dumb kids that know the difference between right and wrong, but not the difference between games and reality. How do we stop this? Do we stop making football games for the home consoles? Nay nay...that is just as bad as burning Marilyn Manson records because some emo kid cut himself again. Stand up and be counted! Teach your children that TV, movies, video games....are all sources of entertainment, NOT to be taken seriously. Point this out explicitly. It may sound dumb to have to tell them that  this stuff is not real, but those who aren't told may end up like these idiots in Kansas and  think like EA Sports...."It's okay, It's In The Game". Until next time....Stay Salty!

-Salty Dog