Did Darth Sidius (the Pope) finally come around and say that it was okay for married couples to use condoms as a form of birth control because we have waaaay too many babies being born? Did he say it was okay for married couples to use them when one partner was infected with AIDS? Nay nay...he said the Church was lifting the restrictions on condom use for...wait for it...male prostitutes! Male prostitutes...that serve other males...people that are defined by "the Church" as "intrinsically disordered" are now authorized to use condoms during sex to promote moral responsibility. I didn't think that alter boys could get pregnant...but I digress.
So now, every church and its people are trying to back pedal and cover Darth Sidius' tracks, saying that it must be some kind of language barrier (him being German and all) just like when he lifted the excommunication of a holocaust denier. Hmmmm...German Pope taking care of someone who believes that the holocaust never happened? Never! So the holocaust never happened, gay people have some intrinsic disorder, male prostitutes need to use condoms to stop the spread of AIDS in the gay community because it is "morally responsible", and altar boys can't get pregnant. Think I covered it all?
Many of you know my religious views are inverted at best, but one question needs to be answered by all of you.....where did they find this guy? The Church has a lot of questions to answer, and maybe some of you do to. How does someone follow a man who takes his direction from a 2000 year old book? Would you follow the directions of a 2000 year old cook book today? I say nay nay...because times have changed, methods have changed, people have changed. It's time to change people! Until next time...Stay Salty.
Brilliant as always my friend, but you forgot that there is a built-in escape clause in the 2000 year-old book. God is omniscient and therefore cannot be wrong because she already knew what was going to happen and she has put her contingency plan into operation.
ReplyDeleteIt is rumored that Oprah is slated to replace Benedict and that Tom Cruise will be the first President of the Universe. Since Oprah's gay she will issue a world-wide order for the legalization of gay marriage and Cruise, being Oprah's complicit little bitch will make it so.
Well played sir. I thought that I had read that Oprah was going to take over as God when Alanis retired. I did not know that she would be the next Pope. And with Tom being gay too, it shouldn't be a problem for him to legalize gay marriage. Then he will release his hold on poor Katie Holmes and he can marry Richard Gere.
ReplyDeleteDo....Do I send Gerbils as wedding presents?
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