Welcome to your two-fer boys and girls. It is not often that I feel the urge to write multiple entries in one day. The earlier blog was just for fun..to spread the good word about Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People. This one is a little different. Was I listening to Whodini today and just had to talk about one of their most famous songs? Nay nay. I was reading everyone's status updates. I have 184 friends on facebook, and I check everyone's status every chance that I get. I like to be involved, I like to know what is going on. I feel that if people feel the need to share events or sayings or quotes or links....that I should at least view/read them. In doing so over the past week or so, I have seen a pattern emerging. It is one that makes me physically ill to read.
One of the few things that I pride myself on is the lengths I will go to for my friends. If you are truly a friend of mine, I will do anything for you. I will bend over backward and kiss my own ass if that is what is required. I have been asked for a place to stay during hard times in a relationship, I have been asked to borrow money (both small sums as well as large), I have been asked to help move (everything from furniture to a body), even perform their wedding for them, and if within my power...I did it. No questions asked, no repayment of favor required. These are things you do for friends.
What I DO NOT deal well with....is psychic vampires. To quote the late, great Anton LaVey, the term psychic vampire means "a spiritually or emotionally weak person who drains vital energy from other people". These can be people that may have been your friend 20 years ago, but have turned into nothing more than an acquaintance, at best in the present. They come out of the woodwork praying on "what was", looking for handouts. You let them in...whether out of your general kindness, your memory of "what was", or general non douchebaggery. You want to help your "friend", so you do what they ask...say it's lend them 50 bucks until they can get their next paycheck. But this leads to more and more favors of increasing degrees. Where do you draw the line? When is it that you are no longer helping a friend, but claiming them on your taxes as a dependent?
The recurring theme in people's status that brings me here is complaining about "friends". They always call them "friends", even when you can tell from the writing that the term is used as loose(ly) as a 2 dollar Thai hooker. People that are only showing up when they need things. People who talk shit behind your back, yet smile in your face. These, true believers, are not friends. These are not people that you need to keep in your life. These are not people that you need to waste your time or energy on. Whodini stated it best in 1984 when they said, "Friends is a word we use everyday, Most the time we use it in the wrong way, Now you can look the word up, again and again, But the dictionary doesn't know the meaning of friends."
I have friends. I have acquaintances. I have "people I know". The latter two categories receive my kindness, as long as it is returned in kind. My friends receive my friendship unconditionally. I could not see a friend for 10 years, and the day I did see them would seem like they had been around all along. I can pick up right where we left off. My friends are treated as if they were family. And as with family, friends will fight. True friends will work past the fight and continue to be friends. If you have true friends in your life, you have riches beyond money. If you put up with fair weather "friends", you are broke beyond belief.
I want you all to take a look at your "friends". Look long and hard at each and every one and ask yourself.... is this person truly my friend? Do not accept any reasoning...they are, or they are not. Life is too short to deal with psychic vampires. Note your true friends, and share the good times and bad with them. Do not let fair weather friends bring you down when you have real friends that would never do anything to intentionally make you sad. To my true friends (you know who you are), I thank you for being my friends. You know that I would do anything for you, and I know you would do the same for me. And for Whodini...I don't need the dictionary to tell me anything...I KNOW the true meaning of the word "friend". For all of you with friend issues in your status updates...hang in there, even when the fair weather friends are bringing you down...know that your true friends are there to lift you up. Until next time all....Stay Salty.
-Salty Dog
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You know, I try to comment on every blog entry since we think alike in so many ways. I am sure many of your "friends" have read this and almost felt the jabs as they did.
ReplyDeleteAs I read I had the feeling of coming up for air after being underwater for a long time. I often think about who my true friends are but sometimes it takes a reminder like this to really appreciate the meaning of friendship.