Reality Shows Killed the Video Star..or Did They?

Okay, so this "copy and paste this to your status" status that is going around lately has me thinking. It is basically a question of what was your first concert. I answered this question today with Ratt, 1984, Mid Hudson Civic Center. Yes, people, I said RATT. Stephen Pearcy, Warren DeMartini, Robbin Crosby, Juan Croucier, and Bobby Blotzer on drums. The Out of the Cellar tour, it was awesome. That was all I needed, and I was hooked on live music and seeing the bands. I have been to countless concerts since, but the concerts aren't what I am actually here to discuss.

Where are they now? The rock and rap heroes that we drew on our Trapper Keepers (for those youngsters reading...a Trapper Keeper was what we used to keep our school papers in back in the 80s). The ones whose shirts we wore to school the day after the concert (and for years to come). What happened? Is Steven Pearcy selling insurance now? Is Big Daddy Kane dishing out ice cream at Dairy Queen? Is Bobby Brown....well, we will leave Bobby Brown out of this one, he could have his own conversation. But the major players from our musical hay day...they have all gone in the crapper.

Vince Neil, the voice of Motley Crue. Shout at the Devil..come on people, that was hard rock in the 80s. Vince Neil was on the reality show "The Surreal Life". This show was a joke on the "talent". The group of people on the show were pretty much washed up stars from the 70s and 80s, being picked on BECAUSE they were washed up. When you are on a show with Charo, and it isn't the Love Boat, it is time to admit you are done.

MC Hammer, the man that made you stop because it was Hammer time. To this day, I don't know what Hammer time is. I don't know who was the bigger star, him or his pants. Some of you still have Hammer pants hiding in your closet or attic somewhere. You can lie to your friends, but you can't lie to yourself, they are there! Hammer was a multi millionaire who took over the world with Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Em. Now MC Hammer is where? Reality TV! First as a member of the Surreal Life, and then after seeing the success of Joseph Simmons (RUN's House) he starred in Hammertime. This show chronicled the life of the Hammer family, complete with Hammer recording a new album. This is one way to get people to buy your album I guess, force it down their throats while they watch your TV show. Anyway....

Big Daddy Kane. Aint No Half Steppin, I Get Raw, Warm It Up Kane...these were just a few of the mega hits from BDK. He was a hip hop GIANT in the 80s, mentioned in the same sentences as Public Enemy, Boogie Down Productions, and Eric B and Rakim. Where is Kane now? Is he a DJ on XM or Sirius? Is he a big shot at Def Jam records? Nay Nay...he is a judge in the 2010 Hip Hop Karaoke Championship. Not a reality show in Kane's repertoire, he is too cool for that....Hip Hop Karaoke Championship, I had to say it again because it didn't seem real the first time. (Bill, look into that one for me, we could win!)

Brett Michaels. Poison. My high school yearbook is full of quotes from him. All from a pussy ass ballad, Every Rose Has Its Thorn. But their first album "Look What The Cat Dragged In" was bad ass, and spawned many hits. Is there another Poison reunion in the plans? Is CiCi DeVille even alive still? All of you girls that remember drooling over Brett Michaels...he is on the second season of his reality show Rock of Love. The guy can't even find himself a girlfriend, he has to go the Flavor Flav route...yes, another reality show.

Sebastian Bach. Skid Row people...SKID ROW! Sebastian is so full of himself, he named his only daughter Sebastiana. Is that even a real name??? Has Sebastian gone the reality route? He has indeed. Is he looking for a girlfriend like Brett? Nay nay. Is he pushing a new album while he exploits his family, like Hammer? Nay nay. Is he labeled as a washed up has been like Vince Neil? Again, I say nay. So what reality show did Seb get himself on? Celebrity Fit Club. Sebastian went and got fat and wants to go on television and show the world that he is going to get back to fighting weight and bring back the band!! Oh, did I mention that all possible metal street cred was flushed down the city sewers with the violent power of one of those turds that you have to wipe your legs afterward? Yes true believers...Sebastian Bach starred on Broadway in Jekyll and Hyde. It isn't so bad that he was on Broadway. What is bad is that he was replaced by David Hasselhoff. That's right people, Knight Rider was singing on Broadway too, not just in Germany.

What I am trying to say here (because I know you are asking yourself WTF) is how the mighty have fallen. No...I was just thinking about all the concerts I went to when I was young and realizing that all those guys are doing reality shows now. There are a few that are still around doing what they did back then, but most have gone the "I'll take any chance I can get to get my name out there again" route. Well, it obviously worked, I am sitting here talking about them, and you are reading it. Good job heroes of my past, mission accomplished. Oh, and one word for Sebastian Bach... Hasselhoff????? Until next time true believers...Stay Salty.

-Salty Dog