Okay, so I have fallen into the eternal trap of becoming "The Grumpy Old Man". I have been doing this Navy thing for 19 years now, and I know I am not the youngest guy in the bunch anymore. I also did not think I was like my grandfather was toward me when I was young. He asked me one time when I was about 10 years old, "How old are you now?" I told him that I was 10. He said "Well when I was your age, I was 11!"
This was a common strain of conversation...the comparison of how the younger generations had gone soft. He had to walk 26 miles uphill in the snow to school..BOTH WAYS! I always shook my head and just blew it off as Grumpy Old Man Syndrome. I now see exactly what he was talking about....
I made a comment the other day about Marion Barry (Bitch set me up!) and was met with blank stares by the members of my surrounding peanut gallery. The thing that killed me is was there was no frame of reference. It happened in 1990 PEOPLE! Then I look back and realize that most of the people around me at the time were either just born or younger than 5 years old at the time.
I refuse to tell stories of "When I came in the Navy...." because I won't be that guy, but come on people!
I do know that a lot of my references are lost on most people. I have a very ecclectic reference library in my head, and I understand that not everyone wastes their brain cells on stroring such trivial bullshit. So I do not expect that people will understand EVERYTHING that comes out of my blowhole. Cultural icons, timeless events, these things are requirements. If your children (children are anyone up to the age of 25) do not know these things...you are setting them up for failure. Monty Python movies...required knowledge, Exploding space shuttles...required knowledge, Spinal Tap...required knowledge, Beastie Boys...required knowledge, Crack Mayor..required knowledge, subway vigilantes.. you guessed it, required knowledge. Stop depending on the teachers today (many of which qualify as children under the above rule)to teach your children everything. If your "Child" runs into me before I retire from the Navy and they don't know the basic Cultural Requirements...tell them to stand by for heavy rolls, for I will tease them until they cry.
Stay tuned children, this ride is going to get bumpy...and quick!
-Salty Dog
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Is Bill Buckner not a cultural requirement?
ReplyDeleteNo, Bill Buckner is not required knowledge. Babe Ruth, Lou Gherig, even Alex Rodriguez, but Buckner? HELL NO!! And James (Rule fuckers!: I am the only one who gets to call him James and not get immediately bitch-slapped) I really think that any movie starring Simon Pegg counts as required knowledge. Furthermore, if you can't name all 50 states and at least 2 US territories . . . . JOG ON!!
ReplyDeleteLex,
ReplyDeleteThe reason that I ask if Buckner is a cultural requirement is because probably 1/2 of the people who know who he is, only know who he is because of that 1 fateful night in October 1986. And because of that, I think that it's much more of a requirement than knowing anything that A-rod has done. I did however notice that you named only Yankees, but did not name the one yankee that will be forgotten thanks to the likes of roid freaks such as Bonds, McGuire and Sosa, Mr. Roger Maris. He is a must as required knowledge!!!!
I totally agree that there are many sports stars that SHOULD be known. The reason I did not include them in "required knowledge" was because I cannot expect everyone to be a sports fan. And in Lex's defense... the only baseball players that anyone really cares about ARE Yankees...lol. Lex, Simon Pegg films should also go on the list of things that everyone SHOULD know..but I will not require it. "Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?"
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