Okay, I know a few of you just came in here because of the title. You are wondering, "What the hell is he doing writing about the Royal Wedding?" Well I am glad that you asked. You can all blame Nate Milton for this one, he got me started last night and I can't stop thinking about it. Oh, not the actual wedding.. I could care less about that. I guess that is actually what I am here to say.
Prince William is getting married to some girl named Kate. Why do you care? I was watching The View yesterday (because being retired, I have that kind of time) and they were showcasing Royal Wedding underwear. What in the blue hell is that all about?? Who is Prince William anyway? Is he the one that dressed up like a Nazi and gave us all something to laugh about? Is he the one that is an officer in the British Military? Nay nay...he is "the other guy". Suddenly I am overtaken by the spirit of the Spin Doctors...."One two, princes kneel before you, that's what I said now, princes..princes who adore you, just go ahead now" But back on track..didn't we declare independence from these people a couple of hundred years ago? Didn't we even have a document written for such a purpose in 1776? Yet all they have to do is hold a wedding and we are slaves to them yet again. This is insane. Wake up people! You don't know these people. Are you going to send a wedding gift? Are you expecting a thank you card? Nay nay...these are people who THINK that you should be watching them because they are royalty, so they tell the media that you should be watching...the media tells you to watch..and like mindless drones....YOU WATCH!!
How about a list of other Princes whose weddings I think would be more interesting. Prince Paul..not the Yugoslavian prince from the early 1900s..but the super producer. Imagine his guest list! Stetsasonic, Gravediggaz, De La Soul, and 3rd Bass. Now that is a wedding party! You not only attend the ceremony of a Prince, but you get to meet a Prime Minister! How about another Prince...Prince Markie D! You know he is going to have a killer buffet at the reception! The artist formerly (and currently) known as Prince! I think that would be the wedding of a lifetime. Seeing a 4 foot nothing guy wearing purple getting married to....who knows...Madonna?? I would even rather watch the wedding of Freddie Prinze Jr. (not the father, he is dead....or there would be so many more episodes of Chico and the Man!). There are so many other Princes out there that would have cooler weddings than this Prince Billy. And they would all be by Americans!
What I am trying to say here, true believers, is that just because the media is telling you that you want to, nay...NEED to be watching this garbage doesn't mean you have to believe them. Go find a repeat of Welcome Back Kotter or BJ and the Bear. The entertainment value will be higher and you will be more familiar with the characters. You all know Vinny Barbarino and the Sweathogs, none of you know Prince Billy. I know this was a short post, but I don't want to glorify the wedding any more than the media already is. Until next time...remember...Sweathogs good...English weddings bad. Stay Salty boys and girls...
-Salty Dog
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This whole thing is just so over blown. I understand that its important because this is a member of the royal family of England getting hitched, but I don't need to know every last detail. If a sitting President's daughter was getting married would there be this kind of media blitz? Of course not. But there's girls and girly men out there who get all weak kneed over royal anything. I'll be glad when its over and the media can get on about their business of making this poor Kate girl's life a living hell of scrutiny.
ReplyDeleteAlright here it is: finally someone who's willing to stand up and call us out for who we are. Jamie you have to remember that these are the same people who paid more attention to the OJ trial than they did to the bombing of Oklahoma City, who watched intently as Michael Jackson was arrested, died and was buried, but can't tell you who the Vice President is. Little wonder than that they would get caught up in the media feeding frenzy surrounding the wedding of one of Princess Dianna's kids.
ReplyDeleteI have given up trying to understand it - personally I'll be working most of the day Saturday because my regular job doesn't pay me enough to buy "Royal Wedding underwear" and after that I'll go home and watch reruns of Chico and the Man . . .