Bandwagon

Welcome back faithful few! It has been a bit since I have been here to bother you with my ramblings, but here I am. What is it that brings me back to you all? Is it to discuss how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a  Tootsie Pop? Is it to complain about Michael Rooker's character being killed off on The Walking Dead? Is it to, once again, exhibit my hatred toward Netflix for not streaming BJ and the Bear? Nay nay, good people. What brings me here today is the Bandwagon.

I have been a life long Yankees fan, that includes the 1980s when they were a giant pile of crap in the Bronx. I have been a Jets fan forever....and I don't need to tell you all how bad they have been since before I was born. Rangers fan...1994 was an anomaly, we kinda suck. Knicks fan...don't even get me started. It was cool to be a Mets fan in 86, Islanders fan in the 70s, Giants fan for many years...not this guy. All of my friends know this about me; I am loyal to my teams no matter what the public opinion. This carries over to everything else in my life, too. I am loyal, and my friends know this. What does this have to do with anything?

There are many people out there that support the troops. There are many people out there that support breast cancer awareness. There are many people who support equal rights for same sex couples. The problem with all of this is that there are many MORE people who just put the magnets on their car, or wear the shirt, or (most recently) change their Facebook profile picture because that is the "in" thing to do. People would rather "fly the flag" than be called out for NOT supporting the issue.

For those of you who have been asking what the pink equal sign on the red background in everyone's profile picture is.. it is a show of support for same sex marriage. Those of you who are my Facebook friends will notice that my profile picture is me and Kurtis Blow. Does this mean that I do not support gay marriage? Once again I must say "nay nay". I fully believe that anyone should be able to marry the person that they love; no matter who that person is. The thing with me, is that my friends already know that I support them. A picture on my Facebook page is unnecessary. My friends are my friends, I don't have friend categories. I don't have straight friends and gay friends...I have friends. And my friends know that I support them no matter what.

 Groupies are allowed to marry convicted murderers while they are in jail, and there is no outcry against that. But if two guys or two girls who are in love with each other want to get married, half of the country loses its shit. The only argument I have heard on this whole issue is "the bible says it's wrong". Well the bible isn't the governing document for this country; it is the Constitution. This is why we have a separation between church and State, so someone's interpretation of a piece of (fictional) literature doesn't determine how we all live. I am not saying that religious people should change their way of thinking, because I know that is a losing battle. What I am saying is don't let religious views influence the laws of this country.

No worries children, I am almost off of my soapbox as my fake knee is beginning to bother me. So if you believe in equality for all men and women across the board, by all means, keep up the good work. For those of you who allow religion to determine what you think, you probably stopped reading as soon as you saw the word "gay", so my words to you would be wasted anyway. But, if by some freak of nature, you are still here....answer me this; how will two guys who love each other getting married affect you personally? That's right...it won't! How will two girls in love getting married affect you? That's right...it won't! So if this will not change your life in any way, why do you have an issue with it? Better yet, why should your opinion matter to the rest of us? And lastly...for those of you who are afraid to be called out and changed your profile picture because everyone else was doing it...listen to EPMD and Get Off The Bandwagon! Until next time....Stay Salty.

-Salty Dog

By The Time I Get To Arizona

Greetings all. I hope your New Year started off well. For those of you following, I am 16 pounds into my Operation Anti-Disco Three. 16 pounds closer to Bill Winters hand delivering the DVD collection that Netflix refuses to carry....yes, BJ and the Bear! But that is not what brings me here today. Is it to discuss Jodie Foster coming out of the closet on the Golden Globes? Is it to argue once again that Starbuck wasn't a woman (that's for you, Terence)? Don't think that I have forgotten about Netflix, the big red rig, and the ape in people clothes, either. But....nay nay...these are not the reasons that I am here today.

                                                       
Many of you may remember the 1991 Public Enemy release "By The Time I Get To Arizona". This was about Arizona not recognizing Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday as a holiday. This was a huge black eye (irony) for the state of Arizona. People threatened to stop visiting the state, cactus viewing was down, and the Super Bowl was moved away from the state. The state finally came to its senses and voted to acknowledge MLK Jr's birthday as a holiday. But what does any of this have to do with why I am here?

The University of Arizona is offering Hip Hop as a minor! The State that would not acknowledge the importance of the Civil Rights movement now wants its students to compare Rakim and KRS One? I am wondering if I can get my bachelor's in Information Systems and Minor in Hip Hop? I checked, U of Arizona offers their degree programs online. I am almost willing to pay out of pocket to get my degree from them just so I can minor in Hip Hop. The debates that I could have with other students (who are mostly "college age") on this topic would be borderline epic. The thing that is slowing me down on this is the fact that they will probably get into PDDFL and Weezy, and I may completely lose it. I will have to look into this further, and see if this is possible. Hopefully I will figure it out by the time I get to Arizona.

I know that this post went nowhere for most of you, but the fact that I can study the impact of Public Enemy's "By The Time I Get To Arizona", on the State of Arizona, at the University of Arizona just makes it all worth while. So, until next time....Stay Salty.

-Salty Dog

Fat Boys Are Back

Welcome back, faithful few. It is that time of year when everyone sets unrealistic goals that they have no plans of following through on. But, as many of you may be saying to yourself now, "This year is going to be different!" So what brings fingers to keys? Is it the death of a dumb ass paparazzo trying to catch Justin Bieber smoking weed in his Ferrari? Is it to compare the fiscal cliff to Clifford the Big Red Dog? Is it to chastise you all for not getting me the BJ and the Bear series for Christmas? Let's start this year off with a hearty "Nay Nay". I am here today to talk about how fat I've gotten, and what I am going to do about it.

When I joined the Navy in 1991 I was 19 years old and 137lbs. Now, for those of you that knew me back then, you know I was a bit underweight. After 18 years of marriage (read: good eating), 4 knee surgeries (read: no exercise), and being 41 years old (read: just plain lazy) I have reached Hindenburg proportions and now tip the scales at 257lbs! I understand that as we get older, our metabolism slows and blah blah blah...I have become a member of the Disco Three (read: Fat Boys). The fact that it is early January has nothing to do with my plan to reach a healthier weight of 185.  The mirror was the driving force more than the time of year.

I have a new pool, and I refuse to be sunning myself poolside and have to worry about Greenpeace rushing in to my yard and pushing me back in the water. I do not wish to be featured on an episode of Whale Wars. I will instead, starve myself, drink enough water to drown a fish, buy one of those belt driven fat machines (seen here), or whatever it takes to get myself back to fighting weight. My plan is to be down around 200 by Summer. For any of you (like Bill) who are on this journey with me...let's kick some fat ass! Don't do it because it's January and you think you are supposed to. Don't do it because Jessica Simpson is on TV telling you that SHE did it. Do it because you know, and can admit, that you are a fat ass and you need to change. For all of you guys out there...as you recall, Mix-A-Lot likes big butts. Do you want to be on his list? Are you looking to make your woman check you out, or do you want to hook up with Mix-A-Lot?  Either way is cool with me, but is Mix on my list? I say nay nay.

So fat people of the world UNITE...it is time to lose the weight. And I swear, if I get down to 185 SOMEBODY had better get me the BJ and the Bear series on DVD. Until next time people...Stay Salty!

-Salty Dog