Welcome back everyone. I apologize for my hiatus, but I have been busy with my school work. Today, however, I have reason to write! What is it that could be so important to take me away from my school work? Is it my master plan to Occupy Hip Hop? Is it the overwhelming urge to plug Bob's Boneyard (the greatest podcast in the world today)? Is it that I just found out what actually goes into a Nathan's Hot Dog? Nay nay...
Virginia is very predictable when it comes to government. They want everything to happen on your birthday. That being said, my 40th birthday is next month so I have some things that are due for renewal. One of those things is my driver's license. So yesterday morning at 9:15, I stroll into my local DMV to renew my driver's license. Everyone knows that the DMV is not the happiest place on Earth (that would be Mooby's), but I am prepared for a long wait. I fill out my required paperwork and start the waiting game. My number is B30 and they are on B6. 45 minutes later, they call my number. I felt like screaming Bingo, but I held back. I get to the window,take my eye test, pay my fee, take my picture, and wait for my license. Next thing I know, I am being refunded my fee and told that I am not eligible to renew my license. Based on the results of the National Data Registry, New York AND Connecticut have put a "stop" on my record. I am told that I have to contact the DMV in NY and CT if I want my VA license.
I drive home and get on the phone at 10:30 with the great State of New York's DMV in Albany. The next hour and 20 minutes were spent trying to get a human on the phone to find out what the hell was going on. I finally get an upstate New Yorker on the phone (upstate translates into Southern Canadian). She takes my information and tells me that Connecticut had sent them notice of a DUI conviction in my name in 1994. In order to straighten this mess out and have my name removed from the list, I would have to call Connecticut. So I call Connecticut. 1 hour and 40 minutes before I reach a human this time. CT DMV tells me that there is a Jamie Robinson, same birthday, California license....wait...California? Is this now a fourth state I am going to have to deal with? Nay nay. The kind people of Connecticut removed this mark from my record because I simply told them (in my best Eddie Murphy voice) "Wasn't me." I told them I had never had a CA license, only a NY and VA and all was well.
I am now cleared by Connecticut for whatever it is I was supposed to have done. So I asked them to contact NY, since the problem NY has with me is that CT said I had a DUI! So they said "nay nay, Mr. Robinson." (no they didn't, but it would have been cool). They said no, I had to contact NY myself and tell them that CT cleared me. So I call NY DMV in Albany once again...I get to talk to a human in a record setting 10 minutes this time! My luck is changing, right? Nay nay. I get to talk to Rosalita in Records (the alliteration just made me laugh), and she tells me that I indeed have a DUI notification on my record from the state of CT. She also sees that on the National Data Registry, CT has removed the stop on my record. Sweet, now will Rosalita take the stop off of my NY record too? Nay nay...Rosalita is just the person that tells me what is on my record. In order to plead my case and make any changes, I have to talk to Driver Improvement. Cool, can you connect me? Sure, but they won't be there...they are only open from 8am until noon. So I have to call back again this morning.
I have no moral to this story, no happy ending, just the disgruntled rantings of an old man. I know the DMV has always been a fun place for everyone, so I figured I would share an experience that you all could relate to. Hopefully you never have to deal with Rosalita or her counterparts to get you license renewed....4 states away! Until next time....Stay Salty.
Salty Dog
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Starbucks Round Two!
Welcome back all....they have done it again! Starbucks has gone and pissed me off. Has your friend and humble narrator made a return trip to the den of iniquity? Nay nay. But somehow, they have managed to enter my line of sight...and once again set me off.
Everyone knows that Starbucks coffee costs about four dollars a cup. This number could be much higher, depending on your menu choice. The cost of a cup of coffee at your local 7-Eleven is approximately 1.25. Am I back to discuss how wrong it is for Starbucks to charge such outrageous fees for caffeine? Nay nay...I am here to discuss how wrong it is for Starbucks to charge you 5 bucks for a cup of coffee...and THEN have the nerve to ask you to donate "at least five dollars" to the "Jobs for USA" program that they are sponsoring.
Starbucks is a multi-billion dollar company that sells....coffee. If their crafty use of Italian bartenders and foreign language to confuse the average American isn't bad enough, now they want you to give them "extra" money. I am not saying that this "Jobs for USA" program isn't a good idea, but who wants to walk out of Starbucks with a cup of coffee and ten less dollars in their pocket? This is not the place that should be asking people for more money. How about you take some of the money that you make off of that one dollar cup of coffee that you are overcharging by 400% and give THAT to your program? How about selling coffee for your normal price, and giving some of your profit away?
I hear that they are offering up 5 million dollars to start this program. According to blah blah blah website, (it is obviously not important) Starbucks sells 8,200,000 cups of coffee each day. That is approximately 32 million dollars PER DAY! And you are telling me that to make the people of the world feel better, you are donating 5 million dollars? That would be the same as me donating a penny and trying to get people to donate 5 dollars every time they walked through the door at my store.
Quit trying to make yourself look good Starbucks. Stop trying to get even MORE people into your bars to throw their money away as you want them to. If I want coffee I will go to 7-Eleven, if I want pastries I will go to Dunkin Donuts, if I want some douche bag CD I will go to WalMart, if I want to donate money to a good cause, I will do that too. I don't need you trying to pull at patriotic heart strings to essentially sell more overpriced coffee! Until next time...Stay Salty.
-Salty Dog
Everyone knows that Starbucks coffee costs about four dollars a cup. This number could be much higher, depending on your menu choice. The cost of a cup of coffee at your local 7-Eleven is approximately 1.25. Am I back to discuss how wrong it is for Starbucks to charge such outrageous fees for caffeine? Nay nay...I am here to discuss how wrong it is for Starbucks to charge you 5 bucks for a cup of coffee...and THEN have the nerve to ask you to donate "at least five dollars" to the "Jobs for USA" program that they are sponsoring.
Starbucks is a multi-billion dollar company that sells....coffee. If their crafty use of Italian bartenders and foreign language to confuse the average American isn't bad enough, now they want you to give them "extra" money. I am not saying that this "Jobs for USA" program isn't a good idea, but who wants to walk out of Starbucks with a cup of coffee and ten less dollars in their pocket? This is not the place that should be asking people for more money. How about you take some of the money that you make off of that one dollar cup of coffee that you are overcharging by 400% and give THAT to your program? How about selling coffee for your normal price, and giving some of your profit away?
I hear that they are offering up 5 million dollars to start this program. According to blah blah blah website, (it is obviously not important) Starbucks sells 8,200,000 cups of coffee each day. That is approximately 32 million dollars PER DAY! And you are telling me that to make the people of the world feel better, you are donating 5 million dollars? That would be the same as me donating a penny and trying to get people to donate 5 dollars every time they walked through the door at my store.
Quit trying to make yourself look good Starbucks. Stop trying to get even MORE people into your bars to throw their money away as you want them to. If I want coffee I will go to 7-Eleven, if I want pastries I will go to Dunkin Donuts, if I want some douche bag CD I will go to WalMart, if I want to donate money to a good cause, I will do that too. I don't need you trying to pull at patriotic heart strings to essentially sell more overpriced coffee! Until next time...Stay Salty.
-Salty Dog
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Fat America
Being a fan of video games, and MW specifically, what brings my fingers to keys? The upcoming November 8th release of MW3 has now been pushed in to overdrive. Activision has partnered with PepsiCo in a plot to make gamers fatter and more sedentary than they have ever been. The partners announced today that they will offer double experience points in 15, 45, and 90 minute increments to people who buy 20oz bottles, 12 packs, or Evil Empire exclusive 20 packs of Mountain Dew. Bonuses will be awarded for buying Mountain Dew and Doritos "combo packs". Hey, how about giving people MORE reason to sit on their ass for longer periods of time?
Modern Warfare 3 is one of the most anticipated games of this year, and people are going to spend MANY hours in front of their televisions building up their experience points. Why not spend that time eating bags of Doritos and slugging bottles of Mountain Dew? Why not join forces with Smith and Wesson and give experience points for the purchase of firearms that are in the game? It isn't like anyone would get off their fat ass and go use it...it has to be safe, right? Why stop there? Let's give out bonuses on marshmallow packages for the Ghostbusters game. Let's make America fatter and lazier than they have ever been before!
Product placement in movies and video games is obviously not enough anymore. Now we need to convince Fat America that the more they eat and drink crappy foods and beverages, the better they will be at video games? I say nay nay...I am calling for a boycott of Doritos and Mountain Dew until this craziness is over. I am not asking anyone to eat healthier, I know that is a crazy thought... just switch brands for a few months. Drink Mello Yellow and eat Bravos for awhile, give the competitors a chance. Oh, and for all the gamers reading this...earn your XP the old fashioned way..play the game like the rest of us! Until next time kids...Stay Salty.
-Salty Dog
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