Fat America

Welcome back true believers! It has been awhile, but I have found inspiration in the latest Activision video game release. Let me first state that I am all for video games. Hell, gamers cracked the protein strain for AIDS for Pete's sake! Modern Warfare is actually one of my favorite games to play, and with MW3 on the way I know I am going to log some major hours.

Being a fan of video games, and MW specifically, what brings my fingers to keys? The upcoming November 8th release of MW3 has now been pushed in to overdrive. Activision has partnered with PepsiCo in a plot to make gamers fatter and more sedentary than they have ever been. The partners announced today that they will offer double experience points in 15, 45, and 90 minute increments to people who buy 20oz bottles, 12 packs, or Evil Empire exclusive 20 packs of Mountain Dew. Bonuses will be awarded for buying Mountain Dew and Doritos "combo packs". Hey, how about giving people MORE reason to sit on their ass for longer periods of time?

Modern Warfare 3 is one of the most anticipated games of this year, and people are going to spend MANY hours in front of their televisions building up their experience points. Why not spend that time eating bags of Doritos and slugging bottles of Mountain Dew? Why not join forces with Smith and Wesson and give experience points for the purchase of firearms that are in the game? It isn't like anyone would get off their fat ass and go use it...it has to be safe, right? Why stop there? Let's give out bonuses on marshmallow packages for the Ghostbusters game. Let's make America fatter and lazier than they have ever been before!

Product placement in movies and video games is obviously not enough anymore. Now we need to convince Fat America that the more they eat and drink crappy foods and beverages, the better they will be at video games? I say nay nay...I am calling for a boycott of Doritos and Mountain Dew until this craziness is over. I am not asking anyone to eat healthier, I know that is a crazy thought... just switch brands for a few months. Drink Mello Yellow and eat Bravos for awhile, give the competitors a chance. Oh, and for all the gamers reading this...earn your XP the old fashioned way..play the game like the rest of us! Until next time kids...Stay Salty.

-Salty Dog

DeAndre Way

On July 28, 1990 just days before Iraqi troops invaded Kuwait, DeAndre Way was born. "What in the hell is a DeAndre Way?", you ask? Many of you know him as Soulja Boy. If you still don't know who I am talking about, you are better off. Am I hear to tell you about Soulja Boy and all of his wonderful talent? Nay nay...

Many, if not all of you, know that I served 20 years in the United States Navy. I have friends in all services. I have friends that served in wars nastier than Desert Storm and OIF combined. Whether you served 2 years or 20 years, you went out there and fought for your friends and family back home. Hell, you fought for people that you never met, nor would you ever meet! Why did you do it? Why did I do it? Because it needed to be done. I don't knock anyone for not serving in the military. It isn't for everyone, and I get that. What I won't stand for is a no talent hack (DeAndre) coming out in his internet released song "Let's Be Real" and saying...and I quote "Fuck the FBI and the Army troops, fighting for what?, be your own man...."

This little bitch wants to act like he is some badass and take on Ice-T, to say that Nas killed hip hop, to be defended by King Auto Tune Kanye...and to now bash the military? Who in the hell does he think he is? Is this the only way he can get publicity? This skidmark on the underwear of humanity has four albums...did any of you know that? I didn't think so. No one else knows it either. What America does know? 6207 military members gave their lives during OIF/OEF to protect his bitch ass. Too bad those military members couldn't "be their own man", eh? I can't believe that I am even mentioning this asshole's name! Reports are that he apologized for saying these things....I don't care. If I ever come within arms reach of this punk, I will show him what "hood" is!

For those of you who don't believe that such a talented artist would say such things, here is the video link HERE. Right around the 40 second mark (if you can make it that far without laughing him off of your computer) you will hear the line. I know that none of you are in his target audience of 14 year old girls, but listen up to that part. I love hip hop music, I have since it began, but this mother fucker is why I can't listen anymore. He, and others like him are destroying hip hop. When things go bad in Gotham they send up the Bat Signal...someone please create a KRS-One Signal so that he can come and save hip hop from no talent hacks like this one. Until next time...Stay Salty.

-Salty Dog

Nuckin Futs!

Alright you religious screw heads, listen up! While I did not grow up in a bible thumping household, I was subject to having my ass beat when I did something wrong. That was not a religious thing, it was a parenting thing. I was spanked with a hand, a wooden spoon, and on rare occasion, a belt. These were punishments doled out when it was the only way I would understand. They were corrective actions so that I would associate pain with doing whatever it was that I had done. I had a red ass, and it burned for a few hours, but that was it. I never bruised, I never had broken bones, and there was never tissue damage.

Michael and Debi Pearl have written a book and it has sold 660,000 copies (and is on the rise). The name of this book is "To Train Up A Child". Please don't go look for the book, don't buy the book, don't talk about the book. The fact that I acknowledged its existence is bad enough, I just wanted you to know where this is coming from. The book teaches parents that if you can train horse, and you can train a dog, you can also train a child. The methods are nothing less than barbaric, and they use their interpretation of the bible as a guideline for religious nut bags to follow. Hey, if it's in the bible, it must be right! They say (in an interview) that a boy of 7 who hits his sister needs to be beaten 10-15 times with a wooden spoon, a belt, or a piece of plastic plumbing tube. Why? So he knows that beating someone is wrong. So we correct him by beating him? How does that show him that violence is wrong? My youngest son is 7 years old, and I would never even CONSIDER spanking him with anything but my hand.

Where am I going with all of this? Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz of Paradise, California decided that they believed in the Pearl's teachings and beat their 7 year old adopted daughter to death with a piece of plastic plumbing tube 15 inches long. The couple beat their children regularly....why? Because god wanted them to. Spare the rod; spoil the child. Use the rod; kill the child. I see the similarities, I guess. I refuse to give these wastes of life any more press than they are going to get already, but I want you all to watch Anderson Cooper (not just cuz he is a sexy man) HERE. THIS is one of the reasons that I have problem with religion. I know not everyone is like this, but there are 660,000+ copies of that book out there....there has to be more than just the Schatz's that believe this shit.

I know a lot of you come here for the comedy, or a break from reality....but sometimes reality is what needs to take center stage. This couple had 9 kids...I hope those kids find good families to go to because their parents are going to jail for a long time! I honestly hope that they are both beaten daily during their 12-25 year prison terms. Until next time...Stay Salty.

-Salty Dog