So...here we are again. We really have to stop meeting like this. No, I am kidding...please keep coming back! Anyway...what kind of title is this? What could I possibly have to say about spitballs? What am I, 14? Nay nay, but Andrew Mikel is. What? You don't know who Andrew Mikel is? I didn't either; until Melanie decided to send me a link to a Fox Noise story about this kid in Spotsylvania,Virginia KNOWING that I would put my fingers to the keys shortly thereafter. So, to sound like that creepy guy on the opening to Law and Order SVU... "This is his story" (bong bong).
Andrew is a 14 year old Freshman at Spotsylvania High School in Spotsylvania,VA (not the home of Whattsa Matta U) For those of you who just missed the Whattsa Matta U reference, for your own safety...turn back now. Andrew is an honor student, he is a member of the ROTC, and plans to apply to the Naval Academy upon graduation. All in all, this sounds like a good, solid, ambitious kid. This is not the type of kid that you are going to find huffing glue in the boys bathroom. So...what brings us to talk about young Andrew Mikel today?
Andrew was hanging out at lunch with some other kids (as most well adjusted teenagers do). He reaches into his bag and pulls out a pen, takes out the ink cartridge and inserts little plastic spitballs. I know..not paper, but plastic!! How dare he? Does he think he is an Amazonian Indian? Is he descended from some African Pygmies? Nay nay...he is just a normal 14 year old boy. He used this high powered weapon of mass destruction to blow these little plastic balls at speeds exceeding 20 feet per second to shoot three classmates. Did these spitballs hit them in the eye? Did they scar them for life mentally? Will they never be able to pull down their Ken doll's pants (hint..plastic balls....) again? I say nay nay...none of this happened, yet this kid is being suspended for the remainder of the school year due to a zero tolerance policy in the school. But wait, there's more! The Spotsylvania Sheriff's Department has filed three counts of misdemeanor assault on this poor kid. For shooting three kids with spitballs!! They said that they felt a pinch or a sting when they were hit. Not that they were broken or bleeding, but they felt a pinch and now this kid's future is going to be ruined?
When we were kids, we got into fist fights in school. What happened? We got in school suspension, or we got a couple of days at home. We got our asses kicked by our parents when the word got home, and that was worse than anything the school would do to us. I had in school suspension multiple times when I was in High School. I think I turned out okay. To file assault charges against this honor student with hopes of a military future is insane! It isn't like the kid brought a gun to school..or even a knife...no, he had a pen and some plastic balls. He is not a trained blowgun terrorist from the Amazon, he is a kid! His dad is a former Seabee in the Navy, and a former Marine. I am pretty sure he could have handled his son at home and he would never have done this again. Instead, he is looking at assault charges, and who knows...terrorism?
I understand that after (in best Rudy Giuliani voice)"9-11" a lot of new rules were put in place to protect us all from terrorists and ourselves. The TSA, the metal detectors in schools, the zero tolerance on weapons policies...I get that. What I don't get is who these people think they are that they can expel and arrest this kid because he shot spitballs at classmates? So a pen tube, plastic balls, and some air from the kids lungs is potentially going to cost an honor student his chance at becoming a Naval officer. Step back from the policies people and look at your offender. He is a 14 year old kid, doing what 14 year old kids have always done. It isn't like 7 kids beat up a 13 year old and put it on youtube. Nay, that is a different topic altogether. Someone needs to grab these administrators by the short ones and straighten them out. Until next time....Stay Salty.
-Salty Dog
Friday, February 4, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Facebook: Friend or Foe?
Good day all! It is funny that I am talking about Facebook today, because that is how most of you access this site. I had heard of Facebook long before I began using it. I heard about it from everyone that I know. "You aren't on Facebook? What do you mean you don't have a Facebook account? You're not cool unless you have a Facebook account." These were almost daily statements that I had to deal with. I believe that I actually signed up for a Facebook account so that people would stop telling me to get a Facebook account. It has been both a great tool, and a total nuisance since I have had it.
I have been able to use Facebook to reconnect with friends and family that live far away from me. Used it to talk to people who I was once close with, but due to this crazy little thing called "life"...have lost touch with. I have been able to see my cousin's baby, my friends' new homes, view foreign lands (like Oklahoma) through the eyes of my friends. These are all great things that Facebook has allowed me to do. I have also been swamped with "game" requests. I put game in quotation marks because none of these are actually games, nor are any of them really fun. They pass time when I have insomnia, they gave me something to do when I was stuck on the couch, recovering from multiple knee surgeries, they give me something else in common with friends and family...but they all suck. And the worst part about it is...they consume you.
Never in my life have I had the desire to work on a farm. I have never really even wanted to VISIT a farm. But damn it if I am not in front of my computer every 4-8 hours making sure that my crops haven't withered, or collecting chicken eggs, or whatever other crazy shit farmers do. I actually think I put in more time virtual farming than an actual farmer puts in to actual farming! This would make sense if I grew up on a farm or had a secret desire to be a farmer...but neither of those statements is true. I also have a city that I tend to everyday. I am the mayor...do I receive a paycheck from the city? I say nay, nay. It is just one more huge waste of time bestowed upon me by Facebook and my Facebook friends.
Causes....I almost don't even want to get into this..but of course I will. I am a man with very strong convictions when it comes to things I care about. I am a 20 year veteran of the United States Navy, and most anything dealing with the support of the military and its men and women is a cause that I believe in. I don't need invitations from 30 people telling me to click this button and show your support for the armed forces. I don't want to click to show that I think people protesting military funerals should be clubbed like a baby seal. I have seen such ridiculous things as "click here to show that this piece of corn can get more votes than Miley Cyrus." People have become so involved with the "click here" causes, that I believe it is impossible for them to care about any of them. I think there should be a "click here to stop stupid causes" Cause. I am not doubting that there are many legitimate causes out there, but by putting those causes on Facebook, you kind of take some of the legitimacy out of them. People will click on anything on here if their friends clicked on it before them.
Facebook is a great invention (as is evidenced by Mark Zuckerberg's bank account). But just like anything else, people will find a way to make it more of a pain than a pleasure to use. Do me a favor people....walk away from Facebook for an hour. Call your friends on the phone instead of waiting for them to post something about their lives online. Invite them over for some face to face time. Have a beer, eat a meal, watch a sporting event together. Don't let Facebook become your primary means of communication with your friends and family. I am not asking anyone to stop using Facebook. I know I couldn't stop doing it myself. What I am saying is...don't let it become all that there is. And for Pete's sake, stop posting stuff on there that you would never say to someone else face to face. Remember...if it is on your wall..EVERYONE can see it. Until next time....Stay Salty!
-Salty Dog
I have been able to use Facebook to reconnect with friends and family that live far away from me. Used it to talk to people who I was once close with, but due to this crazy little thing called "life"...have lost touch with. I have been able to see my cousin's baby, my friends' new homes, view foreign lands (like Oklahoma) through the eyes of my friends. These are all great things that Facebook has allowed me to do. I have also been swamped with "game" requests. I put game in quotation marks because none of these are actually games, nor are any of them really fun. They pass time when I have insomnia, they gave me something to do when I was stuck on the couch, recovering from multiple knee surgeries, they give me something else in common with friends and family...but they all suck. And the worst part about it is...they consume you.
Never in my life have I had the desire to work on a farm. I have never really even wanted to VISIT a farm. But damn it if I am not in front of my computer every 4-8 hours making sure that my crops haven't withered, or collecting chicken eggs, or whatever other crazy shit farmers do. I actually think I put in more time virtual farming than an actual farmer puts in to actual farming! This would make sense if I grew up on a farm or had a secret desire to be a farmer...but neither of those statements is true. I also have a city that I tend to everyday. I am the mayor...do I receive a paycheck from the city? I say nay, nay. It is just one more huge waste of time bestowed upon me by Facebook and my Facebook friends.
Causes....I almost don't even want to get into this..but of course I will. I am a man with very strong convictions when it comes to things I care about. I am a 20 year veteran of the United States Navy, and most anything dealing with the support of the military and its men and women is a cause that I believe in. I don't need invitations from 30 people telling me to click this button and show your support for the armed forces. I don't want to click to show that I think people protesting military funerals should be clubbed like a baby seal. I have seen such ridiculous things as "click here to show that this piece of corn can get more votes than Miley Cyrus." People have become so involved with the "click here" causes, that I believe it is impossible for them to care about any of them. I think there should be a "click here to stop stupid causes" Cause. I am not doubting that there are many legitimate causes out there, but by putting those causes on Facebook, you kind of take some of the legitimacy out of them. People will click on anything on here if their friends clicked on it before them.
Facebook is a great invention (as is evidenced by Mark Zuckerberg's bank account). But just like anything else, people will find a way to make it more of a pain than a pleasure to use. Do me a favor people....walk away from Facebook for an hour. Call your friends on the phone instead of waiting for them to post something about their lives online. Invite them over for some face to face time. Have a beer, eat a meal, watch a sporting event together. Don't let Facebook become your primary means of communication with your friends and family. I am not asking anyone to stop using Facebook. I know I couldn't stop doing it myself. What I am saying is...don't let it become all that there is. And for Pete's sake, stop posting stuff on there that you would never say to someone else face to face. Remember...if it is on your wall..EVERYONE can see it. Until next time....Stay Salty!
-Salty Dog
Friday, January 28, 2011
Here I Come To Save The Day!
Welcome back, true believers. For those of you who have been following me for the past year, you heard about the Virginia Beach Ninja. There are strange people out there, and there is nothing we can do about it. But what is this? Up in the sky...it's a bird...it's a plane..it's...some dumbass that thinks he's a superhero! Am I kidding? Nay nay, I wish I were. I am here to tell you that this is real, and it is happening all over our fine country.
Cruising out to the left coast brings us to the man with the plan..the leader of the Xtreme Justice League (I am sure there is a copyright infringement case in there somewhere)...the pride of San Diego...Mr. Xtreme. Mr. Xtreme is out for truth, justice, and a mean game of Dungeons and Dragons! He is armed with pepper spray, the "Double Trouble Stun Gun", and multiple cell phones. He sounds like he is ready for anything, this guy! Mr. Xtreme is currently on the hunt of a serial groper in the Chula Vista area. It is about time somebody got out there and brought all of those serial gropers to justice!
I am not knocking these guys for wanting to be a productive member of society...or for wanting to aide the local police force in any way that they can. What I am getting on them for is letting their Live Action Role Playing game to get out of hand. These guys are going to jump out on the wrong guy one night and he is going to test their "super powers". What happens then? Are they faster than a speeding bullet? When one of them ends up on the ground with a sucking chest wound, what do the police do then? What do they tell the "Superhero's" parents? "Yeah, I knew your son was going to get himself shot one day doing that stupid shit, but I figured when that day came that he would learn his lesson." Let's seriously regulate these D&D games, the Magic: The Gathering games, The...whatever the hell else geeks are doing these days to avoid their real lives in their mother's basement. Things have gotten out of hand people. To find the local "Superhero" in your area (oh yes, they are everywhere) check this page Real Life Weirdo Registry.
Okay, maybe I am jealous because I wanted to grow up to be the next Batman. Life didn't throw me a Bruce Wayne fortune, but that is no reason to hate on these guys. Actually, I don't think I am mad at them..this is kind of like the People of Walmart page...it is fun to look at, knowing that you aren't one of them. If any of you HAVE seen yourself on People of Walmart...I apologize. So...until next time Stay Salty...same Salty Time... Same Salty channel!
Who is this fine citizen? This is Cincinnati Police Force's greatest ally...Shadow Hare (the one on the left). The leader of "The Allegiance of Heroes" is a 21 year old from Ohio who is out for truth and justice on the mean Cincinnati streets. They stop crimes in progress (usually escaping with minor injuries) and perform citizen's arrests when warranted. Shadow Hare is a real life superhero.
I am not knocking these guys for wanting to be a productive member of society...or for wanting to aide the local police force in any way that they can. What I am getting on them for is letting their Live Action Role Playing game to get out of hand. These guys are going to jump out on the wrong guy one night and he is going to test their "super powers". What happens then? Are they faster than a speeding bullet? When one of them ends up on the ground with a sucking chest wound, what do the police do then? What do they tell the "Superhero's" parents? "Yeah, I knew your son was going to get himself shot one day doing that stupid shit, but I figured when that day came that he would learn his lesson." Let's seriously regulate these D&D games, the Magic: The Gathering games, The...whatever the hell else geeks are doing these days to avoid their real lives in their mother's basement. Things have gotten out of hand people. To find the local "Superhero" in your area (oh yes, they are everywhere) check this page Real Life Weirdo Registry.
Okay, maybe I am jealous because I wanted to grow up to be the next Batman. Life didn't throw me a Bruce Wayne fortune, but that is no reason to hate on these guys. Actually, I don't think I am mad at them..this is kind of like the People of Walmart page...it is fun to look at, knowing that you aren't one of them. If any of you HAVE seen yourself on People of Walmart...I apologize. So...until next time Stay Salty...same Salty Time... Same Salty channel!
-Salty Dog
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